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NFL Week 10 Picks: An EVIL Petting Zoo?

By |2018-11-09T09:41:38+00:00November 9th, 2018|0 Comments

It’s crazy to think that we are already nine weeks into the season and NFL Week 10 is here.  Blink a few times and it’ll be Thanksgiving.

Sure, I was “partially frozen” during the opening two months, but now I’m here looking to see who will take over the family business.

Because business is good.

Over the last three weeks, I’m 14-1 against the spread, with my only blemish being the Packers-Patriots game last week.  As you’ll soon see, I learned my lesson on that one.

An EVIL lesson? 

YOU ALWAYS DO THAT!

If you haven’t picked up on this week’s theme, it’s Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery

For those participating in the SportsChump-TWHS NFL Pick ‘em Contest, it’s getting really interesting as we hit the stretch run.  The SportsChump and yours truly currently hold the top two spots, and soon we’ll find out who is the lesser of two evils. 

“You’re semi-evil. You’re quasi-evil.”

Uh huh.  

You’re the margarine of evil. You’re the Diet Coke of evil. Just one calorie, not evil enough.”

To make it football related: You’re the Jameis Winston of evil.  You’re the Nathan Peterman of evil.  You’re the Jeff Fisher of evil – 7-9 evil – just not quite evil enough.

Onward and upward, where it’s another week in which I dabble with mostly road teams.  If it ain’t broke… well, you know the rest.  Here are MY FIVE LOCKS for the week, with my NFL Week 10 WINNERS against the spread in RED.

KP’s Shagadelic NFL Week 10 Picks

FIVE New Orleans Saints at Cincinnati Bengals (+4.5)

The SportsChump – my key competition – is taking the Bengals in this one.  Someone send a spy over to his place to find out what he knows.  Seriously, outside of the home field advantage, what’s there to like here?  A.J. Green is out for a few weeks.  Top weapon: unavailable.  Sure, Joe Mixon is having a good year, but the Saints are #1 in the NFL against the run.  If that isn’t enough, New Orleans has allowed the fewest sacks in the league (9 in 8 games), too.  They also just knocked off the undefeated Rams – and if that’s not enough, the Saints also signed Dez Bryant this week.

Colonel: We’ve had reports that there’s a spy in the Ministry of Defense. The contents of this room are vital to the country. Be on special alert.

Fat Bastard: Yes sir.

Colonel: And, uh, try to lose some weight, for God’s sake.

Fat Bastard: Yes sir.

You know where I’m leaning.  No need to spy on me.  Give me the Saints to cover on the road.

FOUR Atlanta Falcons at Cleveland Browns (+4)

Could the Falcons be turning the corner?  That’s three straight wins, including last week’s 38-14 thrashing of the Redskins on the road.  The Browns, meanwhile, continue to land in the headlines for all the wrong reasons.  This time, it’s Todd Haley not being the interim head coach.  No matter what the story, Cleveland allows an NFL-high 33 sacks.  Atlanta just signed Bruce Irvin and Deion Jones returned to practice this week.  Yes, Atlanta’s defense could be joining the offense in “mutated ill tempered sea bass” like fashion.  That could be worrisome for the NFC – not just the Browns.

In the end, do we really expect Baker Mayfield and Co. to stick with Matt Ryan, Julio Jones, Tevin Coleman, Calvin Ridley and the gang?  No, we don’t.  Falcons cover on the road.

THREE New England Patriots at Tennessee Titans (+6.5)

Oh, it’s you, New England.  You show up in these parts every week.  Yes, I picked against you last week.  Yes, it’s my lone loss in the last three weeks.  No, I don’t have a man crush on Aaron Rodgers.  “I like to live dangerously”.  No, I won’t do it ever again – I promise.

Oh, right, the game.  This is another SportsChump special (he has Tennessee, y’all).  Look, Dion Lewis is the best player on the Titans right now and this is a so-called revenge game for him, facing his former team.  But what do the Pats do best?  Shut down a team’s best player.  That leaves an inconsistent Marcus Mariota and Corey Davis to have to carry the load.  Sure, New England is a bit banged up, but they have been for weeks and has that slowed them down?  No way, not even against a very solid Titans defense that is 8th against the pass.

“20 beats your 5”.  That will not be the score, and this will not be the spy who “chumped” me, either.  Tom Brady and the Patriots cover on the road.

TWO Los Angeles Chargers at Oakland Raiders (+10)

Guys, the Raiders are a hot mess.  Jon Gruden has a contract for a “kajillion bajillion dollars”.  Outside the Amari Cooper trade (which yielded a first round pick), it has been a painful season full of bad decisions.  Heck, Oakland made Nick Mullens look like a Pro Bowl Hall of Famer in one start.  Enter Philip Rivers, Keenan Allen, Melvin Gordon and the Chargers.  The more I write about it, the more I wonder why I have this game set at two confidence points.  Maybe it’s Oakland’s home field.  Perhaps it’s the division rivalry.  It could be the ten point line.  Either way, L.A. keeps rolling. 

Chargers cover on the road – and in a big way.

ONE Seattle Seahawks at Los Angeles Rams (-10)

Hey look, the Rams are vulnerable.  Fine, every team is against the high-octane Saints.  Sure, Seattle isn’t at the same level as New Orleans.  However, dating back to 2012, the rivalry between the Seahawks and Rams has seen a number of close games.  In fact, 9 of the 13 games between these two teams has been decided by a touchdown or less.  That includes L.A.’s 33-31 win in Seattle in October 7th.

But the Rams…at home… the talent they have… coming off a first loss… angry, ready to bounce back in a big way… aren’t you going to look at the statistics and compare this a bit more?  No, no, no… I’m just going to stick with this call and assume it all went to plan – WHAT?

“Close the tank!”  Because the Seahawks keep this one, well… close – again.


2018 NFL Season to Date (ATS)

Week 1 | Week 2 | Week 3 | Week 4 | Week 5 | Week 6 | Week 7 | Week 8 | Week 9

These picks were not artificially created in a lab.

As always, thanks for being real – and thanks for visiting The Wife Hates Sports!

 

Movie Credits: Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery | Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me

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About the Author:

Kevin Paul is the creator of The Wife Hates Sports, a freelance sportswriter, full-time QA manager, part-time craft beer tester and full-time Dad. Oh and yes, it is true, the wife REALLY does HATE sports. Maybe I need to create a support group like the Hair Club for Men, where I'm "not only the President, but a member".

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