After spending many months isolated from larger groups, it felt like the perfect time to rip the Band-aid off and throw the greatest Super Bowl party ever. Past failed attempts would not deter me as I quickly consulted my little black book, which happens to contain contact info for countless celebrities in both the entertainment business and sports world. This year, I was confident that the Super Bowl party excuses would be kept to a minimum.
Sad to say, after all my efforts, I struck out miserably – again.
Either way, I felt it would be worth sharing the responses that I did receive:
Celebrity Excuses for NOT Attending My Super Bowl Party (2022 Edition)
”Never say never” wasn’t an option on the RSVP, but my best guess is that he won’t be showing up. It’s a shame, because I’m the GOAT when it comes to guacamole.
He hasn’t responded yet. I can only hope he isn’t making any more of those USAA commercials.
I don’t think he was happy when I refused to reveal my food menu for the big game.
He declined stating that he has a previous engagement. Hey, don’t go there, we don’t know where he’s going to be or who he is hanging out with.
Just kidding… I didn’t really invite him.
Again, c’mon… I actually wanted other celebrities to show up.
He originally accepted my invitation, then entered the transfer portal and will be attending someone else’s party. Maybe my wing sauce choices just weren’t spicy enough.
I figured he’d be undecided, but he declined. I’m not sure why. I mean, he’s available and I’m throwing a politics-free party. It’s just a Super Bowl party with really good nachos. Maybe that’s the issue. Too much cheese in the nachos? Maybe the invitation needed to be formed in a question. “Will you attend” for $200, Aaron?
He had to get settled into his new Philadelphia home. The “no” response certainly wasn’t injury related. At least, he didn’t say it was.
I can’t. Sorry, I thought I could – but it’s not like my humor rivals that of Ricky Gervais. Speaking of Gervais, I didn’t invite him because he would piss the rest of the guests off.
She had other plans for the Super Bowl. It’s probably for the best, as I was really worried that she’d try to wear all the appetizers.
He gave no reason. My best guess is Wal-Mart had a sale on pants. Either that, or he’s still apologizing for thinking about leaving his alma mater for the NFL.
And last, but certainly not least…
He’ll be performing at Super Bowl LVI. Well, that… and also the fact that none of my appetizer names ended in “izzle”.
It appears that once again… there will be no famous people at my humble abode on Super Bowl Sunday.
Seriously, what the heck am I going to do with all this seven-layer dip?
Oh well, enjoy Super Bowl LVI, friends!
Disclaimer: In all honesty, I know zero celebrities – and don’t even own a little black book. This was merely an attempt at humor, but hey, you probably knew that already, didn’t you?
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