Gentlemen: How many of you out there have a WIFE that HATES sports to the point that she can and does get frustrated when you are passionately watching your team live on TV?
Thousands of hands are raised simultaneously…
There’s a wide spectrum of emotions when it comes to men and watching sports – from anger, to frustration, to whining, complaining, bitching, moaning, drinking, cheering, pouting, jubilation, celebration, anticipation and then some.
Hell, in come cases, even crying.
And while THE WIFE can tolerate you and your buddies raising your voices and cheering up a big win, she equally can’t stand it when your team single-handedly flushes your personality – and your day (or maybe even your week) – right down the crapper.
So, what does she do? She intends to put the situation in perspective, or perhaps seeks out a way to try and cheer you up, or to get you not to think about that painful result.
But in her frustrated huff, what does she say?
“IT’S JUST A GAME.”
I’m sorry, what?
“You heard me.”
Wrong response, at least… it is with me.
I’d rather have nails on a chalkboard get played at high volume on my stereo surround sound system than to hear that line.
I’d also rather see Rosie O’Donnell in a thong. OK, maybe not.
But you get the idea – and those are ‘JAGs’, my friends – not a television show, an NFL football team, or a Christian rock band – but instead THE WIFE in sports that chooses to tell you that it’s Just A Game, all after your favorite team just lost a heartbreaker – and the wounds are still fresh.
From now on, when you hear me discuss ‘JAGs’, that’s what I’m talking about – and consider this the latest addition to The Wifetionary.
In the meantime, have you personally ever had to deal with a JAG in your past? If so, I would love to hear about it.