Dwight Howard is bolting Los Angeles, Colin Kaepernick forgot what team he plays for and a baseball franchise in the United States is actually willing to give 41-year-old Manny Ramirez another shot. This sounds like a job for Throwing Tomatoes!
These are just some of the recent news stories that are making tomato-worthy headlines.
As the sports world turns, the stories pile up and more fan frustration emerges. But don’t sweat it, The Wife Hates Sports has them all covered – in lycopene, that is.
Throwing Tomatoes: July 6, 2013
Headliner: Dwight Howard
Dwight Howard has made his decision official…. we think.
The former big man for the Magic and Lakers has picked the Houston Rockets as his next team, but before doing so, reports emerged that in Dwight-like fashion, there was some flip-flopping between the Lakers and Rockets, before Howard sent out this tweet:
I’ve decided to become a member of the Houston Rockets. I feel its the best place for me and I am excited (cont) http://t.co/h8WK4yP3zB
— Dwight Howard (@DwightHoward) July 6, 2013
Dwight should have instead sent a video of himself signing on the dotted line, because until then, none of us will believe him 100%.
Target: Kobe Bryant
After the news broke of Howard choosing the Rockets, Kobe Bryant posted an image of himself and teammate Pau Gasol on Instagram. He also unfollowed Howard on Twitter.
It’s a conundrum as to where this tomato should go, whether at Bryant for lashing out so much in the public eye, or at the media members that chose to list this as actual news.
Up in the Air: Jodie Meeks
Jodie Meeks, another rmember of the Lakers, hit the headlines with an Instagram of Dwight Howard as a woman wearing an Orlando Miracle jersey (FTR, that used to be a WNBA team). The image was eventually taken down and Meeks also tweeted that this was a fake account.
Woww! I don’t even have an instagram. Whoever that is needs to stop it!! #peoplethesedays
— Jodie Meeks (@Jmeeks20) July 6, 2013
Not knowing the real truth, one can’t know if Meeks is a legit target or an innocent bystander.
Target: Lakers Fans
Some fans of the Lakers have posted images of Dwight Howard jerseys being burned. This storyline is a lycopene jungle. It’s like Jack Bauer during target practice:
- Howard was such a flake during the tail end of his time in Orlando that it always seemed to be a major risk that he wouldn’t return to L.A., so why buy the jersey in the first place?
- As much as the jersey burning ritual is ridiculous, it almost made a tiny, yet twisted, bit of sense for those that were mad at LeBron, as James left his hometown and a city that has been starving for a sports title. But Howard? In the long run, the Lakers will be better off.
- With Howard posting regular season statistics that were well below his averages in the previous handful of years with Orlando, it made more sense to have those #12 replicas shipped off to thrift stores before the NBA postseason even started.
Speaking of jerseys…
Target: Aaron Hernandez Jerseys
The Patriots had its free Hernandez jersey exchange today. CLASSY MOVE.
— Wesley Lowery (@WesleyLowery) July 6, 2013
The ugly storyline here lies elsewhere, focusing on the individuals that have been spending time trying to earn a buck selling Hernandez jerseys on sites like eBay.
Are you kidding me, thinking that these jerseys would actually be worth a lot of money some day? In order for something to be worth anything, you have to find someone that is willing to buy it. Look at how many people are itching to get their hands on Roger Clemens and Barry Bonds merchandise, and neither one of these two were charged with murder.
People shock me.
Speaking of shocking decisions…
Target: Snoop Dogg
Wait, didn’t this guy change his name to Snoop Lion?
Either way, friend or not, showing any kind of support for Aaron Hernandez at this time is a bad idea. Yet, that’s exactly what Snoop did. Sheesh, after that move, Snoop’s publicist is calling up Lindsay Lohan to see if she needs representation.
We interrupt this post for something that’s MORE appealing, yet covered in RED…
OK, perhaps “covered” isn’t the most accurate description.
To celebrate Independence Day, let’s instead make it RED, WHITE and BLUE for this edition…
Innocent Bystander: Hannah Davis
Davis is more popularly known to the world as Derek Jeter’s latest model girlfriend.
Not-So-Innocent Onlooker: You
Salute the flag, sir. No, not like that… you pig!
Target: Colin Kaepernick
San Francisco 49ers starting QB Colin Kaepernick was photographed wearing a Miami Dolphins hat at a July 4th party. He won’t apologize for it, but in all honesty, he should.
It’s a ridiculous decision. This is your employer! There are four major leagues and Kaepernick could wear a hat among hundreds of teams throughout professional or college sports, yet he chooses to sport the colors of another NFL franchise?
Soon, we could argue that the art of “Kaepernicking” is no longer kissing your forearm after a big play, but making silly decisions, like wearing an opponent’s hat.
Target: Texas Rangers
The Rangers are taking a “flyer” on Manny Ramirez, who previously was playing in Taiwan.
We get it, it’s a low-risk move, but you can’t tell me that there’s not another player out there that’s a better option than Manny. And, it’s not as if you need visual evidence, but…
If Ramirez makes the big club at any point this year, it should come as a major shock.
And finally, the current faces of team frustration in sports:
Milwaukee Brewers – The Brewers are 2-8 over its last ten games and 17 games below the .500 mark. Expect Milwaukee to be in full sell mode once the trade deadline arrives in a few weeks
San Francisco Giants – Losers of nine out of ten and seven games below the .500 mark, the Giants are also an atrocious 15-30 on the road
San Diego Padres – The Padres have lost eight straight and have returned to the NL West cellar
This has been Throwing Tomatoes, where the red fruit is never caught waffling.