“Yule Crack Up!”  No, not at the weekly picks here at The Wife Hates Sports.  That’s the tagline for National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, my favorite Christmas movie and one of my all-time faves, too.  It’s a fond memory of mine, dating back to the movie’s release in 1989.  I saw it in the theater with my brother and sister – the only movie that the three of us went to together as a trio.  As an “oops”, they are a lot older than I am.  So, as the holidays come and go faster than you can say “Save the neck for me, Clark”, I’m dedicating this week’s picks to my family and my all-time favorite holiday flick.  Each of my top picks this week will be tied to a quote or scene from Christmas Vacation.  With that being said, it’s on to my Week 16 NFL Bets.

Joining me this week, as always, will be the SportsChump – my football pick companion who somehow is taking me down rather easily this year.  In addition to the Chump, we have a return appearance by good friend “The Barber”.  Best of luck, guys.

Here are our TOP FIVE Best Bets for the week (all against the spread), including our Week 16 NFL Bets and College Football Best Bets.

Our lists are ranked in order of confidence, from 50 “points” down to 10.  Please note that the lines for my picks are all taken from DraftKings Sportsbook (maybe some day they’ll notice).

DraftKings Sportsbook: Week 16 NFL Lines | College Football Bowl Season

The Wife Hates SportsChump: Week 16 NFL Bets – Christmas Vacation Edition

KP’s Picks

$50: Detroit Lions (-2.5) at Carolina Panthers

In the “if it ain’t broke” department, let’s go for the Detroit Lions for a second straight week in this slot.  It still feels crazy saying that.  Also, Detroit could see itself in playoff position following a win this week.  Surprised is one way of saying it.  Clark has other ways.  Carolina has also played much better since the departure of Matt Rhule.  The Panthers remain one game out of first, considering an ugly year for the NFC South.  But the Lions rank 8th in passing offense, while the Panthers sit 30th.  Considering the firepower and momentum that Detroit currently has, I like the Lions to cover on the road.

$40: Washington Commanders at San Francisco 49ers (-6.5)

The 49ers have won seven straight games by an average of nearly 17 points.  That includes wins over the Dolphins, Bucs, Seahawks, and Chargers.  Washington, meanwhile, couldn’t manage a win in two tries against a Giants team that was heading in the wrong direction.  The Commanders are holding onto a playoff spot by the skin of their teeth.  Chase Young returns this week, but I don’t expect much of an impact.  I could see limited snaps and he hasn’t exactly lit up the stat sheets in his career to this point.  And no team is hooter – uh, I mean hotter than San Francisco right now.  49ers cover at home.

$30: Atlanta Falcons at Baltimore Ravens (Under 35 Points)

Let’s double up on this game, starting with the over/under.  Desmond Ridder’s first start featured a 50% completion rate and 97 yards passing.  Lamar Jackson is out again and hasn’t played since December 4th.  Without Jackson, the Ravens have scored 29 points in three games.  Both offenses are struggling, especially at the QB position.  Add in the weather forecast for the game, which includes temps in the lower 20’s and 10-20 mph winds.  That could have an additional impact.  Overall, give me the under.

Sticking with the same game…

$20: Atlanta Falcons (+6.5) at Baltimore Ravens

The Ridder-Huntley combination isn’t lighting up any scoreboards.  Wind could be a factor, along with colder temperatures.  Without Lamar Jackson, the Ravens have struggled offensively, scoring 10 points versus Denver, sixteen against the Steelers, and a measly three against the Browns.  The Falcons are still in the division race.  Atlanta isn’t great against the run (21st, 129.9 ypg), but can focus on it considering Huntley under center.  All in all, this should be a cold, ugly, and low scoring game – to the point that some fans may be asking to “hurry this up, Clark”.  Give me the Falcons and the points.

$10: Buffalo Bills at Chicago Bears (+8)

After a few weeks of failures taking the heavy favorites, I’m taking a more conservative approach.  Although, I do admit that this one worries me a bit.  The Bills have the clear talent advantage.  Both teams have mobile quarterbacks (Eat my rubber!) and may need to focus on the run considering the weather forecast.  In Chicago tomorrow, it’s expected to be a high of 13 degrees with 20-30 mph winds.  I expect this to impact the pass game and scoring in general.  As for run defense, Buffalo ranks 6th in the NFL while the Bears are 27th.  Again, a clear advantage for the Bills.  If Justin Fields can make a few plays, Chicago may hang around.  Give me the Bears and the points.

Also, on the outside looking in – because these are sure to be correct, since they were left out:

  • Green Bay Packers at Miami Dolphins (-3.5) – Packers simply don’t have the “it factor”
  • Tampa Bay Buccaneers (-7.5) at Arizona Cardinals – QB and injuries are a problem for the Cards
  • Cincinnati Bengals (-3) at New England Patriots – New England’s dynasty is finally toast


Week 16 NFL Bets: The Barber

The Barber is back for another go this season.  Here are his picks and Week 16 NFL Bets:

Here we go with week 38 (right, I mean they want to extend the NFL season so it feels like it is week 38).  Okay, so it is week 16.  And that means it is getting harder to pick against the spread, though for KP, that has been the story of his season.  But pick we must, so without further ado, the week 16 locks are as follows:
$50: Buffalo (-8) covers in Chicago.  That’s right, Justin Fields continues to break records, but the Bills break the Bears.  Living in the Chicagoland area for almost a decade now, I watch with interest at how the Bears fans psych themselves up that they have a real contender only to be one of the first teams eliminated each season.  On the other hand, my friends’ wives seem to be miserable for a shorter and shorter time frame each year since they know they get their husbands back by Halloween.
$40: SF (-6.5) covers at home over Washington.  I never like the east coast teams when they travel west or the west coast teams when they travel east.  Time zones suck and even though they are professionals and do this all the time, it still messes with your circadian rhythm and if you ain’t got rhythm, you ain’t got nothing.  I see SF winning by a touchdown.
$30: KC (-10) covers at home against Seattle.  One last warmup before KC starts sitting some key players in weeks 17 and 18 to avoid injuries.  Seattle is fighting for their playoff lives, but KC is going for the #1 seed.  Seattle drops this one but has two winnable games following this and maybe still sneak in.
$20: Pittsburgh (-2) covers at home against Las Vegas. And for our final pick we are sticking with the east-west travel concerns and looking at the game in Pittsburgh. A Sunday night matchup for two teams who apparently are still in the hunt despite their records. The Steeler family just lost Franco Harris. With the emotion of losing an icon, I expect the Steelers to come out with energy to win one for Harris. And Vegas is a boneheaded Patriots play from probably being 5-9 and out of contention. I see the Steelers winning by a field goal as a well timed burst of wind knocks the Vegas kick wide as time expires.
$10: GB (+3.5) covers in Miami.  Really?  I should pinch myself.  Did I just pick GB to cover?  I did.  Why?  Not sure.  I watched in person as the New England Patriots marched into Green Bay and pushed them to the very last seconds of overtime with a third string quarterback no one had ever heard of.  Green Bay just plain stuck then and it has only gotten worse for them.  I mean, they are looking up at the Detroit Lions!  How often has that happened in the last 20 years?  For some reason, Miami is a house of horrors for a lot of teams – maybe there is something in the water or the guys are just breaking curfew to party all night.  Either way, I see Miami just squeaking by in this one, leading to more funny faces from Aaron Rodgers and surly answers to questions like “are you washed up” and “do your teammates actually like you” and “are you now a cancer on this club” and “did Santa leave lots of coal in your stocking?”  Don’t miss the post-game press conference!

Week 16 NFL Bets: SportsChump

Coming Soon via here or the SportsChump website…


Chime in with top picks for the week.  Also, if you have interest in being a guest picker, please let us know via the comments below.  Thank you for visiting The Wife Hates SportsHAPPY HOLIDAYS!


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