The great Patrick Warburton turns 56 this weekend. While you may think that is an obscure name to drop for this week’s picks, well… I suppose that you’re right. Still, if you haven’t noticed, I do like to find unique spins and themes to every one of these posts. Warburton is this week’s theme, because it’s his birthday and he’s one of the more underrated American actors out there. Those are the upfront reasons. Oh, and if the name isn’t clicking for you, well… he made major appearances in all kinds of movies and TV shows. My personal favorite is Warburton playing David Puddy on Seinfeld. So, as I sat here and tried to think about where to turn after a few abysmal weeks picking against the spread, I landed on David Putty for my Week 10 Best Bets. Why?
Well, because a slump requires a nudge and guidance to ensure things are moving in the right direction. Perhaps from a higher power… or maybe just from a Magic 8-Ball.
So are my Week 10 Best Bets going to be a huge success?
<shake shake shake>
“David Puddy: You gotta question… you ask the 8-ball!”
Translation: I’m due for a bounce back performance.
Thank, you Patrick… err, Puddy. We’ll catch you during each of the picks, too.
The Wife Hates SportsChump Contest
As a reminder, Chris Humpherys (the SportsChump) – a good friend of mine through years and years of blogging – has a pick ‘em contest rolling with me for the football season. We pick our top five games by confidence (against the spread – ATS). Top selections can be from either the NFL or College Football slate. We invite a special guest each week to challenge us.
Here are our Week 10 Best Bets for the week (all ATS), which includes both NFL Week 10 Best Bets and College Football Best Bets. The list is ranked in order of confidence, from $50 down to $10 (in fictional dollars, as the SportsChump prefers).
Week 10 Best Bets: The Wife Hates SportsChump – The David Puddy Edition
DraftKings Sportsbook: Week 10 NFL Lines | Week 11 College Football Lines
KP’s Picks: The Wife Hates Sports
$50 NFL: Carolina Panthers at Arizona Cardinals (-10.5)
I’ve floundered with my highest confidence picks over the last few weeks. Here, there’s some risk, considering Arizona currently has an injury report that’s as long as a CVS receipt. Kyler Murray and DeAndre Hopkins missed last week and could be out again. Despite their absence, Arizona posted 31 points and knocked out the Niners. Enter the Panthers, a team that’s biggest news is the return of “Superman”. Do we really think Cam Newton can be the savior for a team that started 3-0 and has since lost five of six? Newton should be serviceable, just not a fancy hat wearing season saver. Meanwhile, P.J. Walker starts for Carolina. Considering the Panthers have scored just 28 points over the last three weeks, I have a hard time seeing Walker going toe-to-toe with the Cards. Even with all the injuries. So, just find a good dip to snack on and watch as Arizona covers.
David Puddy: Hey, great dip. You made this?
Elaine: No, it’s from the store.
David Puddy: Oh. Hey, how come people don’t have dip for dinner? Why is it only a snack? Why can’t it be a meal, you know? I don’t understand stuff like that.
$40 College: Duke Blue Devils at Virginia Tech Hokies (-11.5)
Virginia Tech’s season opening win over a highly ranked UNC team feels like ages ago. Now, the Hokies are 4-5 (2-3 in the ACC Coastal). Justin Fuente is on the hot seat and could be looking for another job next season. If the Hokies lose this game, he most certainly will be. Enter Duke, the cure for just about every team’s ills. Virginia Tech’s offensive inconsistency is likely to be sparked by a Duke pass defense that ranks 129th in the nation and has allowed 21 TD’s through the air. The Blue Devils (not those Devils, Puddy) have allowed 31 points or more in six straight. That includes 33 points to Kansas (at least that was a win) and a recent stretch against Virginia, Wake, and Pitt where they were outscored 147-36. So, despite VT’s struggles, a home game in Blacksburg should be just what the doctor ordered. Hokies cover.
$30 NFL: Tampa Bay Buccaneers (-9.5) at Washington Football Team
Antonio Brown and Chris Godwin are currently major question marks heading into the weekend. This could leave the Bucs with Mike Evans, Tyler Johnson, and Jaelon Darden as the team’s only healthy wide receivers. Tom Brady managed through similar in New England for years. Simply put, Brady makes every teammate better. On the flip side, Taylor Heinicke is not the same player that pushed Tampa Bay to the brink in last year’s playoffs. The WFT has its share of injuries on offense, too. Not much there to “support the TEAM”. No Curtis Samuel and no Logan Thomas. Antonio Gibson has a lingering stress fracture in his shin and the O-line is also banged up. Worse, the Football Team’s defense continues to be a major disappointment and now will be without Montez Sweat. No pressure on Brady? Yeah, Bucs cover.
Elaine: You painted your face?
David Puddy: Yeah.
David Puddy: You know, support the team.
Elaine: Well, you can’t walk around like that.
David Puddy: Why not?
Elaine: Because it’s insane?
$20 College: Notre Dame Fighting Irish (-5.5) at Virginia Cavaliers
With this game, it’s really which team has had more success when being battle tested – and that’s Notre Dame. Virginia’s toughest foes this season are North Carolina (loss by 20), Wake Forest (loss by 20), and BYU (loss by 17). The Wake game was at home. On the flip side, the Fighting Irish have wins over Wisconsin (by 28), North Carolina (by 10), Purdue (by 14), and Virginia Tech (by 3). Since its loss to Cincinnati on October 2, Notre Dame has rattled off four straight wins. Matchup-wise, I look at Virginia’s #2 ranked passing offense (401.0 ypg) facing Notre Dame’s pass defense. The Irish are 65th in the nation against the pass (231.1 ypg allowed). What’s more eye-opening is Notre Dame allowing just 8 TD’s through the air in nine games (with 12 INT’s). Notre Dame wins the turnover battle and covers.
Elaine: So where do you wanna eat?
David Puddy: Feels like an Arby’s night.
Elaine: Arby’s. Beef and cheese and… Do you believe in God?
David Puddy: Yes.
Elaine: Oh. So, you’re pretty religious?
David Puddy: That’s right.
Elaine: So is it a problem that I’m not really religious?
David Puddy: Not for me.
Elaine: Why not?
David Puddy: I’m not the one going to hell.
Oh, and no matter what David Puddy thinks, don’t worry… your fate won’t be sealed if you fail to back Notre Dame and Touchdown Jesus this week.
$10 NFL: New Orleans Saints at Tennessee Titans (-2.5)
This should be a battle. Two defenses that are playing well. The Titans have allowed 27 sacks (3rd most), so the Saints defense could feast. Despite this, I lean towards the offensive side of the ball, specifically the RB position. Alvin Kamara is officially out this week and that’s obviously huge. Tennessee is without Derrick Henry, as we all know. As I said last week, you can’t replace Henry, but let’s not discount how much talent is on this Titans team. Tennessee now has a three-headed monster to help carry the run game, plus A.J. Brown and Julio Jones in the pass game. They are improving defensively and had a monstrous win over the loaded Rams last week. For the Saints, there are question marks at the QB position, a lack of depth at the WR position, and an absence by Kamara. For these reasons and more, I like the Titans to cover at home.
David Puddy: “Alright, high five.”
Those five (above). Not these five (below). Just messing with you, Chump…
Let me have $50 on Minnesota Vikings at Los Angeles Chargers (-3)
Late Tuesday night, news emerged of domestic abuse allegations against Dalvin Cook. Cook is the superstar running back of the Minnesota Vikings. He has vehemently denied the charges. The Vikings’ success is largely predicated on the ground game he creates. He ranks third in the league in total yards per game. Untrue or not, these allegations can’t bode well for a Vikings team that is already struggling. They are 3-5 and have won only once on the road. Meanwhile, the superior Chargers sit atop the AFC West, a division which has four teams over .500. The Chargers are three points better than the Vikings without all the drama surrounding Cook. With it, the Chargers should be able to win this game relatively handily, and most certainly by three, especially if the Vikings aren’t 100%.
I’ll take $40 on Cleveland Browns (+2 ½) at New England Patriots
Speaking of clubhouse drama, the Cleveland Browns just got rid of theirs. Odell Beckham, Jr., once a Brown, is now a Ram. The on-field connection between he and Baker Mayfield never panned out as much as the Browns would have liked. In fact, it barely panned out at all. Beckham only had seven receiving touchdowns in two-and-a-half seasons. No Beckham? No problem. The Browns manhandled the Bengals last week and put themselves squarely back into the AFC playoffs mix. This week, they’ll travel to Foxboro to face an overachieving Patriots team.
Personally, I think the Patriots are overvalued while the Brownies are undervalued. Both teams are 5-4 and desperate for a win but pound for dawg pound, the Browns are the more talented team. For some reason, the Pats have struggled at home where they’re a rather surprising 1-4. I have a hunch the Browns ride momentum and sneak into Foxboro to steal one. Since I’m getting two-and-a-half, I’ll take the Browns plus the points on the road.
I’ll take $30 on the Carolina Panthers at Arizona Cardinals (-10 ½)
Do you want to know the 2021 NFL definition of desperation? The Carolina Panthers paying Cam Newton $10 million to give him his job back. Someone on Twitter recently joked that the owner of the Carolina Panthers is now paying Cam Newton, the guy they signed to replace Cam Newton and the guy who replaced the guy they thought would replace Cam Newton. It’s like a really expensive Abbott and Costello routine except Panthers fans are not laughing. In September, it appeared Carolina had moved on. The Panthers started the season 3-0. Behind their newly signed quarterback, Sam Darnold, it looked like the Panthers might even be legitimate playoff contenders. Then Sam Darnold remembered he was Sam Darnold and the Panthers have lost five of their last six. Here’s a look at Carolina’s depth chart at quarterback: PJ Walker, Sam Darnold, Matt Barkley and James Morgan.
I guess that’s why they called up Cam, to get the band back together and officially make Carolina the most fucked team in the league outside of the Houston Texans. This week, Cam and Company travel to play the best team in the league, the 7-1 Arizona Cardinals. Talk about bad timing. Arizona’s got health problems at quarterback as well, meaning Kyler Murray is a game time decision but no Murray no problem. League veteran Colt McCoy started in his place and proved at 35 years old, he’s better than anyone Carolina has on their roster. Another CMC, Christian McCaffrey is going to have to put the Panthers on his back but that won’t be easy all by himself, especially against a top five defense. Arizona is also top five offensively which means this is could be a long day for Carolina as they inch closer to the 2022 Top NFL Draft pick. It’s a lot of points to lay but all signs point Arizona minus ten-and-a-half.
How about $20 on New Orleans Saints at Tennessee Titans (-2 ½)
Am I missing something here? The Titans just went into Los Angeles last weekend and handed the Rams an embarrassing loss. Nobody expected that outcome considering MVP candidate Derrick Henry had foot surgery and was lost for the regular season. Meanwhile, the New Orleans Saints just lost to the Falcons? The line is this game is only two-and-a-half points. Head-scratcher. The Titans have won five straight and sit atop the AFC South, although they can definitely hear the Colts breathing down their necks.
It’s the NFL and no lead is ever safe. The Saints are only one game back of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers in the NFC South but last week’s setback against Atlanta is concerning. The Saints still have major issues at quarterback. They play well on the road, with wins already in New England, Washington and Seattle but Tennessee is better than all those teams. New Orleans’ defense is near the top of the league but I’m not sure they’ll be able to control the ball possession after possession for enough scores to keep up with the Titans. I’ll take Tennessee minus the two-and-a-half.
And finally, I’ll take $10 on UConn Huskies (+41) at Clemson Tigers
I feel like the oddsmakers keep parading out the same old, bloated lines and expecting me to see a different result. I don’t know what the Clemson Tigers are against the spread this season (I’m kidding, they’re 2-7) but they are only now starting to find themselves as a football team. They beat Florida State and Louisville in back-to-back weeks but have yet to put together a three-game winning streak this season. They’ll do that this weekend as they host UConn. UConn is a horrible football team. They are 1-8.
But the Clemson Tigers are laying an overwhelming 41 points! I feel like I’m a broken record. Clemson has scored over 40 points only once this season. This is not the Clemson of old. They’ll work out some kinks against UConn but all UConn has to do is score a touchdown or two to make covering this point spread unattainable. It might be even if they don’t score. Clemson is not ready to be laying this many points. I’ll take UConn plus the 41.
Season Standings (The Wife Hates Sports | SportsChump | Celebrity Guests)
Add your Week 10 Best Bets picks or favorite Seinfeld episodes in the comments section below. As always, thank you for visiting and supporting The Wife Hates Sports!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY Patrick Warburton!
Image Credit: Seinfeld
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