Throwing Tomatoes returns with a bit of a condiment heavy edition. The ketchup is always ready and available, but this edition also features French’s Mustard Beer (perhaps unfairly). Then we have ants, that always love to steal the show at a condiment-inclusive picnic. That’s thanks to PGA TOUR star Bryson DeChambeau.
We also talk other wild or thought-provoking headlines in the world of sports today.
Oh, and if you’re new to the Throwing Tomatoes world, the basic idea ties with the old days when a performer on stage would get pelted with tomatoes after an abysmal performance.
Find a story in sports or entertainment that irks you… and throw a tomato.
It’s that simple. You know what else is that simple? Throwing tomatoes at these COVID-free headlines in the world of sports and entertainment:
Throwing Tomatoes: The Mustard Covered Ants Edition
…for having ants in his pants.
Is it me, or is Bryson DeChambeau becoming a daily headline? He drives a lot of people crazy and I’m honestly not one of those people. Yes, he’s abrasive at times – but in a time where there are no fans and the focus is on him and his massive frame, it is becoming too easy to catch him on camera.
His recent ruling tied to fire ants was yet another doozy in an assembly line of Bryson doozies.
— CJ Fogler #BlackLivesMatter (@cjzero) July 30, 2020
In the end, I still think he’s a bit misunderstood and buried in all that muscle, there’s actually a very likable person in there somewhere. This is just how he is. There’s one in every crowd. We all have that friend that makes us roll our eyes (or hide them).
Bryson DeChambeau (Yes, Again)
…for channeling his inner Ted Williams.
Yes, him again.
Bryson DeChambeau is a man of science – we all know that. He tries to find creative ways to get better. He has focused on science when it comes to his golf game. Slow play has become a hot topic because of it. He had a custom set of irons made where each club is the same length. For those not familiar with the game, that is not the norm. Most recently, he has bulked up to be golf’s version of The Hulk. DeChambeau crushes drives and leads the tour in driving distance, but it’s almost to the point where he avoids the science and simply tries to overpower every golf hole.
— Kevin Paul (@kevinspaul) July 30, 2020
The real story though is a recent comment regarding how long he expects to live.
Bryson: “My goal is to live to 130 or 140.”
Everyone else: “My goal is to make it through 2020.”
— Chantel McCabe (@chantel_mccabe) July 31, 2020
I know you’re a guy of science, Bryson – and you’ll do everything you can to try to extend your life. Still, this first made me think of Ted Williams being frozen in two pieces after he died. It also made me picture Bryson as an elder Van Helsing look-a-like at the age of 130. As in, Van Helsing’s character voiced by the great Jim Gaffigan in Hotel Transylvania 3: Summer Vacation.
I honestly can’t imagine wanting to live to 130. Not with the way 2020 is going.
Who wants to be alive for COVID-26 anyway?!
Don’t even joke about that, KP.
French’s Mustard Beer
…for making me question the greatness that is Oskar Blues Brewery.
If you know me, then you know I’m a huge fan of craft beer – and trying all kinds. Oskar Blues is one of my favorite breweries. They have superb customer service and awesome variety (and creativity). Recently, they introduced French’s Mustard Beer – and, well, I’m trying as hard as I possibly can to give it a chance.
Of course, that would require me purchasing it – and getting by the gag reflex that immediately triggers when I think about it (or look at the label on the can).
— Darren Rovell (@darrenrovell) August 1, 2020
My immediate reaction was a combination of the words “what”, “gross”, “c’mon man”, “for real”, “gag” and “what are you guys thinking”.
However, I haven’t tried the Mustard Beer, so it may not be all bad.
Like everything, it deserves a fair chance. That’s all I’m going to say.
Well, that and tomatoes lead to ketchup, so I have to support “Team Ketchup” this time. With that said, please don’t go making any Ketchup Beers.
Forbes Most Valuable Sports Teams 2020
…for making me question what really makes a sports franchise valuable.
What makes a sports franchise valuable? For me, a big part of that should be winning.
The largest part, really.
Sure, city factors, steady assets, ownership and other things come into play – I get that. Forbes outlined its latest list of most valuable sports teams and I couldn’t help but focus on the “what have you done for me lately” factor.
It was honestly all I could focus on. Perhaps this is why I’m in the role I’m in – and the evaluators are in the role that they’re in. Yes, the big cities rise to the top, but still… well, here’s the list from Forbes:
Look at the top three, as it comes to overall performance:
- Dallas Cowboys – Last Super Bowl Win – Super Bowl XXX – January 1996
- New York Yankees – Last World Series Title – 2009
- New York Knicks – Last NBA Championship – 1972-73
Heck, the Knicks haven’t even had a winning season since 2012-13.
Is anyone else surprised or is it just me? Even THE WIFE mentioned the history of the older franchises, but to me it’s… so what? What have you done for me lately?
NFL Top 100
…for purposefully grabbing everyone’s attention.
The latest NFL 100 ranks were released and Patrick Mahomes landed at #4. Because, of course he is. With his “gazillion dollar” contract and Super Bowl win in tow, this play was obvious.
— NFL Media (@NFLMedia) July 30, 2020
Let’s not put Mahomes first, but instead fourth so that everyone talks about it.
As I am right now.
You win, guys. I guess.
Next topic, please. Someone please go find me a mustard beer.
This has been Throwing Tomatoes, where ketchup is the elite condiment.
Image Credit: Darren Rovell Twitter, Golf Digest