After an extremely long hiatus, Throwing Tomatoes is back. 

Wait, Throwing Tomatoes is back?  What do we owe such an honor?

Well, for starters, there are just too many headlines worthy of the red fruit, from Patrick Reed, to O.J. Simpson, that “former Lakers Dad” and more.

But since it has been a while, here’s some background.  Throwing Tomatoes is one of the first features that I created in my earlier blogging days.  It was a regular feature in the FOX Funhouse on FoxSports.com.  The basic idea ties with the old days when a performer on stage would get pelted with tomatoes after an abysmal performance.  That sure would fly today, right?

Beep, beep, BEEEEEPPP goes the SARCASM ALARM. 

Anyway, find a story in sports or entertainment that irks you… and throw a tomato.  It’s that simple.  The idea itself dates back to a bad pun (semi-Dad joke) that I pitched to a former co-worker, Marc Corsiglia.  In a desert-like dry response that only he could deliver, Marc said, “I’m going to throw a tomato at you, dude”.  Just like that, Throwing Tomatoes was born. 

Now that you are in the know, we can shift off the backstory and into the week’s sports news.  Here are the most tomato-worthy sports headlines over the last few days:

Throwing Tomatoes: The Not-So-Triumphant Return

O.J. Simpson

…for having the stones to join the social media world (Twitter, to be exact)

“Juice” is on Twitter.  What could possibly go wrong?!  On second thought, there’s no need to worry – he’s going to kill it.  Seriously though, he’s already been quite active and shared often by others, because I don’t follow him and he keeps popping up in my feed. 

I wonder if he had to learn more about Twitter first, such as character limit and what not.  If the tweet doesn’t fit, you must acquit?

“I’m going to throw a tomato at you…” – yeah, yeah, we get it.

Since we are on the topic of O.J., did anyone else see that we recently passed the 25-year anniversary of the famous white Bronco chase?  Do you think he planned the Twitter arrival around that?  Either way, I think I smell a feature image for this episode of Tomatoes… 

…andddddd scene.

Patrick Reed

…for setting Tiger-like examples

Hey, why bash Tiger?  He changed the game.  Yes, he did.  He also has a history of tantrums and not exactly being a role model when in the spotlight.  Patrick Reed is that guy today.  He idolized Tiger and has the harsh personality that paints a negative image on TV.  In last weekend’s U.S. Open, Reed snapped a wedge in half across his knee after a brutal finish at the 18th hole at Pebble Beach. 

Sorry, you can go ahead and think I’m a crotchety old guy for torching him for it.  But it’s classless and uncalled for.  Fortunately, it was late enough in the broadcast that my son – who is 5 years-old and really starting to get into golf – was not awake to see it.  Maybe that’s why I’m so bitter about the whole event.  Maybe it was Reed’s “I don’t care” smirk after the round was over.  I just don’t want my kid to get any ideas, especially since I had plenty of moments struggling through the mental aspects of golf when I was younger.  We just don’t need it in the game.

“BlaVar All”

…for being a name I can say without saying the real person’s name

You know that obnoxious annoying Dad who had a kid that played for the Lakers and is now with the New Orleans Pelicans?  He has a cheap shoe brand and a big mouth?  You know the guy, right?  He makes all kinds of outlandish statements and yet we continue to publish his name and give him exactly what he wants.  Can we PLEASE stop?  As in, not post his name.  Maybe ESPN can stop bringing him on TV and continuing to focus on lazy ways to get page hits and attention.  C’mon, “Worldwide Leader”, you’re better than this.  At least, I’d really like to think so.  Hopefully, with the shift out of L.A. (and to New Orleans), perhaps this will be the last we hear of him.  I mean, eventually we stopped hearing about the football career of Tim Tebow and the retirements of Brett Favre, right?  But seriously, please… don’t make me beg.  Get this guy off the TV and out of the headlines.  Now.  

Speaking of the “Lake Show”…

The Expectations of the Los Angeles Lakers

…for being too lofty

One of the NBA’s marquee franchises already has LeBron James and recently dropped a blockbuster deal for Anthony Davis.  Fine, it’s safe to say that’s big news and likely to bring a lot of title chatter.  But let’s tamper that just a little bit.  The Lakers dealt away a lot of depth and key pieces.  L.A. still needs to shape its roster to include more than LeBron and “The Brow”.  Besides, let’s also not forget the career of Davis to this point.  It’s impressive and he’s a talent, yes, but look at the stats, specifically games played.  Davis has only surpassed 70 games twice in seven seasons, so there is the expectation that he will miss a portion of the season due to injury.

Baltimore Orioles

…for continuing to set the wrong records

I applaud the Orioles for its rebuild path.  Mike Elias is going to do a great job (and already is).  There’s faith in the direction the front office is taking.  Still, with that said, the wrong records continue to be set and it’s getting ugly.  I plan to head back to Camden Yards later this summer and it’s going to be sad to see the stadium so empty.  I’ll just have to drown myself in craft beer and crab fries.  There are worse things.  Still, look at the following two tweets – one discussing the current state of the Birds and the second being what is hopefully a part of the franchise’s future (considering Elias came from Houston).

College Football Transfers and Decommits

…for being the decision-makers of our future

Guys, maybe it’s just how dialed in we are via social media these days.  Tell me that’s it, seriously.  The number of transfers and decommits appear to be reaching ridiculous heights.  Heck, we even have a transfer portal now.  Soon, the portal line will be longer than a security line at the airport or the backup at your local DMV.  Just look at Penn State football, which recently lost a handful of few key recruits that had verbally committed to the Nittany Lions.  What is the value of a person’s word these days?  Is it me or is this getting out of hand?  Are we raising our future to make ZERO decisions, but to instead drive through traffic while surfing the internet?

That’s enough lycopene for one day.  Do you agree with any or all of this edition’s targets?  Who deserves the biggest tomato?  Vote or leave a different option in the comments below.

 

This has been Throwing Tomatoes, where there’s full commitment to the red fruit.

Oh, and as always, thank you for reading The Wife Hates Sports!

Photo Credit (sans tomato): LA Times