The NBA Playoffs are in full swing and the NHL Playoffs are just a few days away from dropping the puck. The baseball season is twenty-plus games in, while the NFL Draft is heading into its weekend of completion.
That amount of sports noise leaves for plenty of tomato-worthy headlines.
So, as the sports world turns, the stories pile up and more fan frustration emerges. But don’t sweat it, The Wife Hates Sports has them all covered – in lycopene, that is.
Throwing Tomatoes: April 26, 2013
Headliner: College Football’s Playoff
The BCS has a new name for its four-team college football playoff system, and it will be called…
….IT WILL BE CALLED…
“College Football Playoff”.
COLLEGE. FOOTBALL. PLAYOFF.
“He worked really hard, Grandma…”
“So do washing machines.” – National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation
There’s not much else to say, but can we really be all that surprised from the artist formerly known as the BCS?
Target: The Luck of the Oklahoma City Thunder
This was a great chance for the Thunder to win an NBA title, but instead, news broke today that Russell Westbrook – one of the most durable players in the NBA – is out with a torn meniscus, more than likely ending his season.
Paging Kevin Durant, can you carry the load yourself?
Advantage: Spurs and Heat.
Target: LeBron James
The NBA’s elite players always bring unique fashion to the postgame press conferences, but LeBron James really “takes the cake” in recent weeks.
Take this sweater, which appears to be straight out of the “Cosby Show Collection”.
It’s infrequent that we can make fun of LeBron’s game, but this is different. If you actually were to throw a tomato at it, it’s quite likely that no one would even notice.
As I realized upon searching for the Bill Cosby image, I wasn’t the first to make the comparison (e.g. ‘The Big Lead’ did, for example). So, throw one at me for being a few days late, and one ugly sweater reference short.
Innocent Bystander: Tyrann Mathieu
The former LSU Tiger originally planned to throw himself a “1st Round Party” during the NFL Draft. After the criticism poured out faster than a drink for Al Michaels (dang, that was cold), Mathieu later called the event off – and that’s probably a good thing, considering that the first round ended, and his name had yet to appear on the draft board.
That was his story, but perhaps, it was all because the draft wasn’t being held on 4/20.
Mathieu was drafted by the Arizona Cardinals in the third round, joining teammate Kevin Minter, who was selected one round earlier. If Tyrann pans out, he would combine with Patrick Peterson to make one really nasty combo in the Arizona secondary.
Should we believe in him? The “1st round party” idea may just be a signal that he hasn’t learned much from his past mistakes, but only time will tell.
Innocent Bystander: Al Michaels
He’s one of the best of all-time. How could you, Al?
We interrupt this post for something MORE appealing, but still covered in RED…
OK, so covered maybe isn’t an accurate description…
Innocent Bystander: Adriana Lima
All she did was wear read.
Not-So-Innocent Onlooker: You
Don’t stare at that computer screen too long, it’s bad for your eyesight.
Target: Miami Marlins
Is it too early to start talking about the 1962 New York Mets and the record for baseball futility?
No… NO, it’s not. Sure, the Astros are really bad, but these Marlins stink.
Miami is currently dead last in team record (5-17), runs scored (57), batting average (.220) and slugging percentage (.292). The “Fish” are also 28th in on-base percentage (.281), 27th in ERA (4.48) and 27th in WHIP (1.43).
Target: Luis Suarez
Luis Suarez bit off more than he could chew, eventually being served a much-deserved ten-match ban.
But, multiple biting incidents for this football star? C’mon, Luis… even Evander Holyfield and Mike Tyson think that’s cold.
Target: Ryan Lochte
The Olympic swimmer has his very own reality show, “What Would Ryan Lochte Do?” – and that’s really all I can say about it. I tried to watch this video and made it through about thirty seconds.
(Guys, it’s so bad, the video is no longer available on YouTube!)
If you made it through the whole video – and you’re not a WIFE that drools over him – then you’re a better man (or woman) than me. Or perhaps, you’re not.
Here’s betting he stays on TV for about as long as Chevy Chase had a talk show.
Target: Matt Kenseth
If you look at the penalties handed down (by NASCAR) to Kenseth and his racing team, they are crippling. The team needed to be more careful, whether the penalties are “grossly unfair” or not.
Target: Kobe Bryant and “Tweet-Gate”
The Sports Chump – a friend of TWHS – had this to say about Kobe and the tweets he sent out during the Lakers’ first game of the NBA Playoffs.
Personally, I like the fact that an NBA star was able to live tweet and provide the fans with “real talk” during his team’s playoff game.
Coach D’Antoni needs to breathe a little, but that’s probably tough when you’re sitting on a seat that should be as hot as the sun right now.
And finally, the current faces of team frustration in sports:
Toronto Blue Jays – Many felt the Jays were one of baseball’s most improved teams, but a 9-14 start has landed Toronto in the AL East cellar.
Florida Panthers – The Panthers have 34 points and will finish with the NHL’s worst record
Houston Astros – Houston’s 7-15 record and -37 run differential is the worst in the American League
This has been Throwing Tomatoes, where the red fruit never bites back.