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Throwing Tomatoes: Russell Westbrook, College Football Playoff, Adriana Lima, LeBron Channels Bill Cosby, Tyrann Mathieu, the Marlins and Other Underachievements

By |2018-11-26T23:11:57+00:00April 26th, 2013|9 Comments

The NBA Playoffs are in full swing and the NHL Playoffs are just a few days away from dropping the puck.  The baseball season is twenty-plus games in, while the NFL Draft is heading into its weekend of completion.

That amount of sports noise leaves for plenty of tomato-worthy headlines.

So, as the sports world turns, the stories pile up and more fan frustration emerges.  But don’t sweat it, The Wife Hates Sports has them all covered – in lycopene, that is.tomatoes2

Throwing Tomatoes: April 26, 2013

Headliner: College Football’s Playoff

The BCS has a new name for its four-team college football playoff system, and it will be called…



“College Football Playoff”.


“He worked really hard, Grandma…”

“So do washing machines.” – National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation

There’s not much else to say, but can we really be all that surprised from the artist formerly known as the BCS?

Target: The Luck of the Oklahoma City Thunder

This was a great chance for the Thunder to win an NBA title, but instead, news broke today that Russell Westbrook – one of the most durable players in the NBA – is out with a torn meniscus, more than likely ending his season.

Paging Kevin Durant, can you carry the load yourself?

Advantage: Spurs and Heat.

Target: LeBron James

The NBA’s elite players always bring unique fashion to the postgame press conferences, but LeBron James really “takes the cake” in recent weeks.

Take this sweater, which appears to be straight out of the “Cosby Show Collection”.


LeBron’s wild sweater may not even bring a smile to Bill Cosby’s face

It’s infrequent that we can make fun of LeBron’s game, but this is different.  If you actually were to throw a tomato at it, it’s quite likely that no one would even notice.

As I realized upon searching for the Bill Cosby image, I wasn’t the first to make the comparison (e.g. ‘The Big Lead’ did, for example).  So, throw one at me for being a few days late, and one ugly sweater reference short.

Innocent Bystander: Tyrann Mathieu

The former LSU Tiger originally planned to throw himself a “1st Round Party” during the NFL Draft.  After the criticism poured out faster than a drink for Al Michaels (dang, that was cold), Mathieu later called the event off – and that’s probably a good thing, considering that the first round ended, and his name had yet to appear on the draft board.

That was his story, but perhaps, it was all because the draft wasn’t being held on 4/20.

Mathieu was drafted by the Arizona Cardinals in the third round, joining teammate Kevin Minter, who was selected one round earlier.   If Tyrann pans out, he would combine with Patrick Peterson to make one really nasty combo in the Arizona secondary.

Should we believe in him?  The “1st round party” idea may just be a signal that he hasn’t learned much from his past mistakes, but only time will tell.

Innocent Bystander: Al Michaels

He’s one of the best of all-time.  How could you, Al?

We interrupt this post for something MORE appealing, but still covered in RED…


Supermodel Adriana Lima wears red better than you.

OK, so covered maybe isn’t an accurate description… 

Innocent Bystander: Adriana Lima

All she did was wear read.

Not-So-Innocent Onlooker: You

Don’t stare at that computer screen too long, it’s bad for your eyesight.

Target: Miami Marlins

Is it too early to start talking about the 1962 New York Mets and the record for baseball futility?

No… NO, it’s not.  Sure, the Astros are really bad, but these Marlins stink.

Miami is currently dead last in team record (5-17), runs scored (57), batting average (.220) and slugging percentage (.292).  The “Fish” are also 28th in on-base percentage (.281), 27th in ERA (4.48) and 27th in WHIP (1.43).splatteredtomato

Target: Luis Suarez

Luis Suarez bit off more than he could chew, eventually being served a much-deserved ten-match ban.

But, multiple biting incidents for this football star?  C’mon, Luis… even Evander Holyfield and Mike Tyson think that’s cold.

Target: Ryan Lochte

The Olympic swimmer has his very own reality show, “What Would Ryan Lochte Do?” – and that’s really all I can say about it.  I tried to watch this video and made it through about thirty seconds.

(Guys, it’s so bad, the video is no longer available on YouTube!)

If you made it through the whole video – and you’re not a WIFE that drools over him – then you’re a better man (or woman) than me.  Or perhaps, you’re not.

Here’s betting he stays on TV for about as long as Chevy Chase had a talk show.

Target: Matt Kenseth

If you look at the penalties handed down (by NASCAR) to Kenseth and his racing team, they are crippling.  The team needed to be more careful, whether the penalties are “grossly unfair” or not.

Target: Kobe Bryant and “Tweet-Gate”

The Sports Chump – a friend of TWHS – had this to say about Kobe and the tweets he sent out during the Lakers’ first game of the NBA Playoffs.

Personally, I like the fact that an NBA star was able to live tweet and provide the fans with “real talk” during his team’s playoff game.

Coach D’Antoni needs to breathe a little, but that’s probably tough when you’re sitting on a seat that should be as hot as the sun right now.

And finally, the current faces of team frustration in sports:

Toronto Blue JaysMany felt the Jays were one of baseball’s most improved teams, but a 9-14 start has landed Toronto in the AL East cellar.

Florida PanthersThe Panthers have 34 points and will finish with the NHL’s worst record

Houston AstrosHouston’s 7-15 record and -37 run differential is the worst in the American League

This has been Throwing Tomatoes, where the red fruit never bites back.

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About the Author:

Kevin Paul is the creator of The Wife Hates Sports, a freelance sportswriter, full-time QA manager, part-time craft beer tester and full-time Dad. Oh and yes, it REALLY is true, the WIFE does HATE sports. Maybe we men need to create a support group.


  1. Alan aka tophatal May 22, 2013 at 11:09 AM

    Wat would Ryan Lochte do ? Why has that guy got a tv gig ? He and the brood members of his posse seem anal retentive . Their joint IQ`s can be barely ratcheted above the national average of 100 .

    tophatal …………………………

  2. admin May 22, 2013 at 10:49 AM

    I haven’t given up… just ended up taking another week off and away from this again, with no choice. I’m back now so I can try again. I’m looking to get my regular sign on, which I had set up… and not my admin signon which I’m using now. I’m hoping that will fix things and I will be able to post easier to your page. I don’t want to give up on it because I want to be able to contribute to your discussions over on your page, too. I’ll give it another whirl this week.

  3. KP May 14, 2013 at 6:02 PM

    Hmm, yeah, good point… maybe next time I link one of you guys, I should start above the woman in red.

  4. KP May 14, 2013 at 6:00 PM

    That’s one way to put it. I just can’t understand how someone that is hired to be in the spotlight as a professional athlete, would actually think to bite an opponent not once, but twice. It is just beyond me.

  5. tophatal May 2, 2013 at 1:26 PM


    Is that what you call it now , scrolling up Adriana Lima ? Most guys wouldn’t mind knockin’ the cobweb out of britches . I know I would !


  6. ChrisHumpherys April 30, 2013 at 11:35 PM

    Thanks for the love but I don’t think any of your readers made it past Adriana Lima.

    In fact, I’m thinking about scrolling back up.

  7. Alan aka tophatal April 28, 2013 at 8:12 PM

    Adriana Lima does things that makes most heterosexual guys very happy .

    Luis Suarez is simply a dumb a#s ! As too is UFC fighter Chael Sonnen who on Saturday night got his @ss whipped like the retard that he is ! One punch knocked the #hit out of that dumb @ss , and now he can pi@$ off quietly, as we Brits like to say ! No use talking about what you want to do , when you have nothing at all to back it up with .

  8. admin April 28, 2013 at 10:03 AM

    So wait, what you’re telling me is that you like Adriana Lima? Ha ha, just kidding.

    I don’t really get how or why a professional athlete would think to bite an opponent MORE THAN ONE TIME. There should be some kind of ethical standard here, to where a guy shouldn’t just be banned, but ousted entirely. I would never sign a guy like that if I was a GM or owner.

  9. admin April 27, 2013 at 9:37 AM


    “Jeets” is just hurt… you can throw them at him, I will wait and see when he comes back.

    I’ll say this, while hockey didn’t help itself, I do enjoy watching the playoffs and am happy that my hometown team as a kid (Caps) will be playoff bound.

    I’m with you on D’Antoni, but that’s not his style. I will NEVER understand that hire, considering his style as compared to that aging roster. They do not have the horses to run up and down the court.

    Both the Celtics and Lakers have been abysmal in the playoffs… and overall, the NBA Playoffs have been a huge disappointment thus far.

    Did you at least enjoy Adriana Lima?

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