Beer, sports and football are three of the main staples in the daily lives of many men.
Tie in TV – the way most of us catch a big game – and more than likely, we’ll see a number of comical, amusing and creative commercials on beer.
For example, there’s Dos Equis – featuring the “most interesting man in the world”.
Just in case you live in a bubble, here’s a montage:
Now that you have your Dos Equis in hand (and the concept in mind), you’ll need a little sports to wash it down – so why not do so by gorging on a little college football?
If you had to discuss some of the bigger names in college football with a Dos Equis “most interesting man” spin – how would you handle it?
Here are 12 ways that I would:
The Dos Equis Spin: The Most (Insert Word) Men in the College Football World
Lane Kiffin
He’s managed a pro job in Oakland, a high-profile college gig (while sporting neon orange) and then skipped town to nab his dream job – all while really posting what many would simply (and generously) call mediocre career numbers.
He has more connections than US Airways.
He’s Lane Kiffin…. and he’s the most unaccomplished-accomplished man in the football world.
Randy Edsall
He’s had to fit a pigskin-shaped peg into a round basketball hole for years – and done it with class and passion.
Last year, he stared tragedy right in the face and said, “Bring it on”.
His talents are just a phone call away and it won’t be long before he’s the big man on campus
He’s Randy Edsall… and he’s the most underrated man in the college football world.
Pete Carroll
For years, the NFL kept calling and flirting with this king of southern California – but he was having too much fun in the sun.
Perhaps he brought new meaning to the phrase, “A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush” – Reggie Bush, that is.
Only he truly knows the real truth – but speculation takes a backseat to no one, especially when traveling north on the roads of the Pacific up to Seattle.
He’s Pete Carroll… and he’s the biggest escape artist in the football world.
Urban Meyer
If his passion were bottled and sold, you couldn’t keep him on the shelf.
But passion can come with a hefty price – in the form of health issues, then juggling between an ongoing coaching career and retirement.
One can’t help but notice one moment of sincerity with a talented QB that’s tears can save lives, countered with another moment of ferocity and anger directed at an innocent reporter.
Conclusion: He’s less Superman and more like a Batman character instead.
He’s Urban Meyer… and he’s the most two-faced man in the college football world.
Jake Locker
In a world where everyone tries to prove that money can indeed buy happiness, he puts that theory on hold.
Even with all the number one overall draft pick hype, he refuses to pick up call waiting when the pros come callin’.
Even when a star like Sam Bradford falls victim to a major injury, he stays put.
Money and fame are instead replaced by college, graduation and learning.
He’s Jake Locker… and he’s the most refreshing man in the college football world.
Brian Kelly
He took a non-existent football program and not only made them relevant, but put them in the BCS spotlight.
He’s not afraid to speak his mind – as his opinion on conference expansion is well documented.
He’s also not afraid to take on a big role and a huge responsibility – one where expectations are attacking him from all possible angles.
He’s Brian Kelly… and he’s the most pressured man in the college football world.
Joe Paterno
While the majority of football schools have a revolving door entrance into the coach’s office, his has a name plate written in permanent ink.
He’s charismatic, passionate, knowledgeable and experienced.
He’s also witty, feisty, stubborn and demanding.
No matter what he is, one thing’s for sure: he keeps on going and going.
He’s Joe Paterno… and he’s the Energizer Bunny of the college football world.
Nick Saban
If you ask him to “say cheese”, he’ll respond by saying “Limburger”.
If you gave him a dollar every time he smiled, he’d be more broke than MC Hammer.
Call it focus… call it determination… call it intensity.
Call it whatever you want – because no matter what, it’s working.
He’s Nick Saban… and he’s the least photogenic man in the college football world.
Adrian Clayborn
He has a tank-sized frame coupled with cartoon-like Road Runner legs.
He has the ability to change a game with one play and change a conference standing in one quarter.
He’s only begun to tap into his potential.
He’s Adrian Clayborn… and he’s the most talented defensive man in the college football world.
Terrelle Pryor
His choice as a freshman was LeBron-like in nature – and his talents are in that ballpark, too.
But to this point, he’s yet to be the best quarterback in his conference, let alone all of college football.
His potential has been growing and his game has been becoming more fine-tuned – so much that in the end, he may just match the hype he entered with.
He’s Terrelle Pryor… and he’s the most vigorous man in the college football world.
Rick Neuheisel
He stares adversity in the face and laughs at its appearance.
He’s reached settlements and gambled in the past – literally.
He renewed the passion and fire in an old Los Angeles area rivalry – all the while being the whipping boy to his next door neighbor.
Now, the doorway is open for him to walk through and own his new home – making it a one-horse town sporting powder blue.
He’s Rick Neuheisel… and he continues to be the most vindicated man in the college football world.
Rich Rodriguez
He left his former state of West Virginia feeling hot under the collar, only to plant himself in his current chair, which is hotter than Hades.
He went from six straight bowl games at WVU to the toilet bowl in Ann Arbor – taking over a legendary program and littering it with question marks, from losing records, to departing players, to rule violations.
Calling this season a “make-or-break year” is the understatement of the century.
He’s Rich Rodriguez… and he’s the most scrutinized man in the college football world.
Stay thirsty for football, my friends… and thanks for supporting The Wife Hates Sports
Lanchumpster,
Hilarious… well done. Man, do you want to sit down and put together a “Part 2” to this post with me? ha ha…
REV,
Thanks buddy.
It will be interesting to look back on Kiffin’s career… but man his name has been tossed around some again recently amidst the changes at USC. Have you heard that stuff?
I just don’t see how he can get that many good jobs already when he hasn’t really put up any ridiculous numbers in the record books…
Jesse Palmer
He grew up in Canada and became a semi-starter for the Florida Gators…
He then was given his choice of good-looking, eligible women on the Bachelor, but forgot some of their names…
He was only the second Canadian-born QB to play in the NFL, but ended up being a 4-year pine-riding backup for the New York Giants before being cut.
He takes pride in his looks, but sometimes does not know if he is better suited to be an ESPN analyst or the leading man in an Axe hair gel commercial.
He’s Jesse Palmer…and he’s simply the biggest tool in the college football world.
Good list, man.
I’m interested to see how we look at Kiffin in about 10-15 years.
Heck, by that time, he might be coaching the Dallas Cowboys.