I hadn’t planned on watching one second of the Tiger Woods press conference apology.  However, it did manage to find its way onto a TV near me.

Nothing changed the way I think about the entire situation and there’s one reason why that is…puppeteering.

Behind every legendary athlete there’s an individual (or team) of PR folks that treat the person like a puppet.  They haphazardly tug at the sticks and make the person’s every move.

These speeches are scripted – and done very carefully.  In many cases, Woods robotically read from the multi-paged statement that he delivered.

If you’ve seen one apologetic press conference, you’ve seen them all.

Sure, there may be a hint of remorse in there somewhere.  But the fact of the matter is this – if not caught, Tiger Woods would still be doing what he was doing.  It’s exactly like Michael Vick, who openly admitted he’d likely still be involved in dogfighting if he hadn’t been caught.

It’s the same story as so many others – Mark McGwire, Alex Rodriguez, Marion Jones – just to name a few.  There are so many, the names just roll off the tongue.

And so here we are with Tiger Woods – the golf legend, the one who saved golf, the true family man.  Spew out all the lines that have been placed on him for so many years of his career.

We see him deliver a far from heartfelt apology.  In fact, the biggest emotion was anger – mostly delivered in the direction of the paparazzi that have been borderline stalking his wife and children over these last few months.

Now, here you are Tiger – lump-summed into that boat of apologies that are intertwined together like a poorly dubbed ‘80’s mix tape.

All in all, it comes down to two things for me.

First and foremost – it’s none of my business what this guy does in his life – even if he is a slime ball.  It only becomes my business if it impacts me.  Let’s say I were older, had kids and he was involved with my daughter – then it’s my problem.  Or maybe I had a kid who looked up to him and was foolish enough to consider Tiger as a role model.

And yes, I went there.tiger-woods-apologizes-flexes

Listen, Tiger is no role model – he’s never been.  He makes the nice speeches and warms the hearts with them.  But if you watch him on the course, it’s almost to the point where major networks need to run the tape on a delay with the guy around.  Tiger drops more expletives than a Quentin Tarrantino flick.  He throws his clubs, too.  There’s a “freak-out session” every time a camera clicks or a bird chirps.  He pumps his fists and rubs victory in the face of all that have the good (or bad) fortune to play with him.  Plain and simple, he wants to win more than anything in the world.

Am I perfect when I hit the links?  Heck, no, but I don’t have a temper tantrum like a five-year old who had his Tonka trunk taken away on Christmas Day.  That, plus I don’t have to be perfect – because I’m out there with no spotlight shining on me.

Second, lack of remorse aside, it all comes back to winning.

Woods mentioned during his speech that he didn’t know when he would return.

I have a one-word opinion for that statement – bologna.

He’ll be back in time for the Masters.

You’ll never hear the truth from deep within Tiger’s brain, but winning comes first.  Listen, I’ve heard his press conferences and interviews in the past – talking about Jack’s record.  One common question asked to Woods: Would you rather win 100 tournaments or 19 majors?  The answer to that question (and a number of others to follow) was simply “19”.  He wants the major championship record and it’s as simple as that.

So, you’re absolutely crazy if you think Tiger Woods is going to ignore a 2010 major schedule that includes Augusta, Pebble Beach and St. Andrews.

And if skips any of those majors, I’ll dine on a buffet of crow bigger than anything Kirstie Alley could handle.

With the press conference over, Woods has moved on – cowardly answering zero questions and heading back to rehab.  Now the opinions can fly away like the majority of Tiger’s sponsors have since Thanksgiving.

OK, what else is on TV – any other famous people delivering apologies today?  Perhaps at noon?



** This post also submitted to my Bleacher Report account **

Image Credit: Sun-Times Blog


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