We all want Super Bowl XLIV to  be an exciting and competitive game between the New Orleans Saints and Indianapolis Colts.

We want to see creative and funny commercials.  Because, they’ve gotten a bit dry lately.

We want to see the game with friends or family… while tipping back a few cold ones – you know… the works.  Because, well… you need people to cheer with, yes?

It’s likely that we will see ALL of that – but what about all the things that we will NOT see?

Don’t worry, we got you covered.  Because, well… that’s the point of the post!

Things You Will NOT See Between Now and the End of the Super Bowl (2010 Edition)

You will definitely NOT see any wardrobe malfunctions.  At least, we hope not considering the fact that The Who will be on stage this time around.

You will NOT see Jim Mora giving one of his trademark speeches for the Colts or Saints, but you would want to!


Can Jim Mora sub in just for the speeches? Pretty please?!

Hey, you will NOT see anyone thanking the theory of Evolution for the team’s victory.

You will most certainly NOT see Bill Belichick wearing a suit and tie.

You will NOT see the McDonalds “not until I’ve had my coffee” guy – because I’ll have stuffed him into a trash can by then.

So, you will NOT see David Stern and Gilbert Arenas enjoying a candlelight dinner together.

You will NOT see Mark Sanchez asking for someone to pass the relish.

You absolutely will NOT see Jay Leno trying to push the Super Bowl out of its time slot.

Yo, you will NOT see Gregg Williams being handed the key to the city in Indianapolis.

You will NOT see Peyton Manning screaming “Who Dat?” as one of his call signals.

You will NOT see ‘Greivis Island’ pop up as a new region in College Park, MD.


We don’t anticipate Vasquez getting his own island anytime soon.

Also, you will NOT see kindergartners verbally committing to Lane Kiffin and USC.  On second thought, you may want to write this one in pencil.

You will NOT see Kurt Warner ‘pullin’ a Favre’.

You will NOT see a fan holding up a sign that states “Why can’t the NFL be more like the BCS?”

No, you will NOT see Tim Tebow’s stock rising.

You will NOT see a list of what each of the 23 flavors in Dr. Pepper actually is.  In fact, we may never see this.

You will NOT see Braylon Edwards or Adrian Peterson carrying out the Lombardi Trophy.

You will NOT see Rex Ryan openly sharing which team he feels is really ‘#1’.


But in the end, we will find out who truly is #1.

It should be a fun ride.  For real, we get Peyton Manning and Drew Brees battling for football’s ultimate prize?  Because, c’mon, how could you not like two future Hall of Famers facing off in the big game?

So, the best of luck to the Colts and the Saints – and happy (and safe) partying to all of you!

Kind Regards, TheWifeHatesSports.com