The world needs to laugh more. Political agenda dives into every topic. People flaunt their preferences in classless ways. Inflation and gas prices continue to punch us in the face. Heck, a bag of Cheetos costs $6.59 and a loaf of bread is lucky to be five bucks. Jobs are hectic. People are on edge, even with the holidays steadily approaching. Getting back to the point, we need to find ways to laugh more – and I’m not talking about reviewing the results of my football picks over the last few weeks (be nice, SportsChump). Tell a clean joke. Make someone laugh. Get your mind off the chaos of the world. That’s what THE WIFE and I did last night, when we went to see comedian Nate Bargatze at Ovens Auditorium in Charlotte, NC. Following this rip-roaring good time, I decided to set my Week 14 NFL Bets to the theme of Nate Bargatze.
But before I move forward with my Week 14 NFL Bets ATS, here’s a little more about Bargatze. Nate Bargatze is one of the most consistently funny comics out there today. His work is clean and on point. His delivery is impeccable. By the end of last night’s show, my jaw hurt from laughing so much. I think what I appreciate about him most, is how relatable he is. He’s a genuine dude that truly appreciates where he is and the fans that support him. Bargatze is a 43 year-old father of one that grew up in Tennessee and currently lives in the Nashville area.
He loves to play golf and is a football fan, among many other things. His comedy also frequently lands in areas that fit the theme of The Wife Hates Sports.
Nate the Great
As for Bargatze’s show, there were so many highlights – too many to mention, really. He told a golf story where his wife headed to the bathroom 13 seconds prior to their tee time (leaving him with just a driver and one ball for four holes). He questioned why we fill out the same medical form every visit, joking that there must be an office fire every night. The topics were wide-ranging and consistently funny. While I could go on and on about the different stories and jokes, I’ll simply leave it as this: Go see Nate Bargatze live or seek out his comedy specials (or both). You won’t be disappointed.
To honor my appreciation of Bargatze and his comedy, each of this week’s picks will feature a clip that fits the theme of each game. So, here we go, as the fun continues with the SportsChump.
Here are our TOP FIVE Best Bets for the week (all against the spread), including our Week 14 NFL Bets and College Football Best Bets. This includes picks from the SportsChump and double the helping from The Wife Hates Sports.
Our lists are ranked in order of confidence, from 50 “points” down to 10. Please note that the lines for my picks are all taken from DraftKings Sportsbook (maybe some day they’ll notice).
DraftKings Sportsbook: Week 14 NFL Lines | College Football Lines
The Wife Hates SportsChump: Week 14 NFL Bets – Nate Bargatze Edition
KP’s Picks
$50: Jacksonville Jaguars at Tennessee Titans (-3.5)
If I’m going to feature Nate Bargatze, then I should also back his teams, right? Thankfully, Vanderbilt isn’t playing this week (sorry, Nate). The Titans, however, are at home – and facing the division rival Jags, a team that Tennessee has beaten in nine of its last ten attempts. Yes, this Jacksonville team is more competitive than in recent seasons. Treylon Burks has also been ruled out for the Titans, leaving a huge gap in the WR group for Tennessee. The Titans rank 3rd against the run and should limit the Jacksonville run game. Then, if Derrick Henry posts big numbers, Tennessee wins big. Only a clown would think otherwise. Titans cover at home.
$40: Kansas City Chiefs (-8.5) at Denver Broncos
The Broncos tend to fare better at home versus division rivals. I’m going to ignore that, considering the Patrick Mahomes presence on one side, and then looking at Russell Wilson on the other side. Wilson posted a QB rating of 100 or above from 2018-2021. This year, his QB rating is 83.5. Wilson has completed 60.3% of his passes, his lowest mark since 2017 (61.3%). Russell has just 8 TD passes and it’s Week 14. The Denver offense has zero get up and go. They operate like Bargatze’s description of common core math. The defense has a lot of fight, but not enough to handle Kansas City. Chiefs cover on the road.
$30: Cleveland Browns at Cincinnati Bengals (-5.5)
The Bengals are starting to click and play like the Bengals of last year. Cincinnati is becoming scary like the Cape Fear Serpentarium (which no longer exists, but see Bargatze’s original bit on it). Controversial QB Deshaun Watson has shown tons of rust in his return. For me, it comes down to Burrow and Cincinnati’s 4th ranked passing offense. Cleveland ranks in the middle of the pack against the pass. Overall, I trust a Cincinnati team trending up and playing at home. Bengals cover at home.
$20: Houston Texans at Dallas Cowboys (-17)
Lines this large in the NFL scare me. Apparently they don’t scare me enough, as here I am. It’s simple really. The Cowboys offense is clicking and the Texans look like a team destined for the first pick in next year’s NFL Draft. Houston is 3rd to last in turnover differential (-6), 28th in total defense, and last in rushing defense. To add to it, assuming the Texans need to score to keep with Dallas, Brandin Cooks and Nico Collins are both out and Dallas ranks 2nd in the NFL against the pass. Defensively, bright spot Derek Stingley Jr. is out for the Texans. It’ll be a lot of unknown faces for the Texans, which makes me think of Bargatze’s airport bit regarding his name. Cowboys cover at home.
$10: Baltimore Ravens at Pittsburgh Steelers (-2)
Perhaps taking one of the most heated rivalries in the NFL isn’t a great idea. That goes double considering my gut thought was to take the Ravens. Diving deeper, I found that the Steelers have actually won four straight games in this rivalry. Tyler Huntley is likely starting over Lamar Jackson again. He was far from stellar in a one-point win over the hapless Broncos. Last year, Huntley was 2-5 filling in as the Ravens starter. That includes a two interception, 141 yard passing performance against the Steelers. Playing at home, I like Pittsburgh in this situation as the free-range chicken, considering they are the healthier team. Steelers cover at home.
SportsChump’s Picks
See the SportsChump’s website for his Week 14 NFL Bets.
Chime in with top picks for the week. Also, if you have interest in being a guest picker, please let us know via the comments below. Thank you for visiting The Wife Hates Sports!
