The grass is always greener on the other side, right?

Sure it is – and Les Miles is ALWAYS on time.

Perhaps that question should be directed to the fans, supporters and teams of college football – in particular those who enjoyed sunny days in the recent past – followed by a whole heck of a lot of gloomy days heading into the present.

We’re talkin’ raining cats and dogs – and not ‘Dawgs.

So upon diving into this topic for a second, if there were coaches that many wish they had back and running particular college football programs, who would they be?

Here are some coaches that come to mind – in the latest Sexy Seven (plus a BONUS one this week):

College Football: Coaches That Teams Wish They Had Back

Bobby Petrino (at Louisville)

Bobby Petrino was 41-9 as head coach at “The Ville”, including four bowl game appearances and an 11-3 record as a member of the Big East conference.

In a matter of months, the Cardinals went from a breeding ground for NFL quarterbacks to a festival of football follies.

Therefore, it would come as no surprise to hear that no one wants a coach back more than Louisville wants Petrino – though there may be some intrigue and excitement with brand spankin’ new hire (and former Gators DC) Charlie Strong.

Lloyd Carr (at Michigan)

This season, Michigan football celebrates its official return to being the owner of the largest capacity crowd in the college game.

(Photo Credit: Walter Iooss Jr./Sports Illustrated)

Translation: 2010 seems destined to be “The Big House featuring Little Football.”

In a few seasons, the Wolverines have transformed from a model of consistency (under Lloyd Carr) to a model of conspiracy under Rich Rodriguez – ranging from players transferring, to rules being broken, to self-imposed sanctions and so on.

Lloyd Carr may not have been perfect in the eyes of the maize and blue, but his career record of 122-40 is looking like Brooklyn Decker in a bikini compared to Rich Rod’s Rosie O’Donnell-like career at Michigan.

Phil Fulmer (at Tennessee)

Many will be quick to criticize, saying that Phil Fulmer’s recruiting efforts were fading, and the team was sinking further and further towards football mediocrity.

Two words to counter that argument: Lane Kiffin.

Say what you want about Fulmer, he still made 15 bowl games in 17 seasons and he won a “Natty” in 1998 for UT – when Kiffin couldn’t even manage to cheer up a “Natty Ice” with any of the Vols faithful.

Instead, Lane simply left the entire state of Tennessee with “bitter beer face.”

Terry Donahue (at UCLA)

Under Donahue’s watch, the Bruins won 151 games, including five conference titles and seven straight bowl victories from 1982-1987.

After his departure, UCLA’s new coach was Bob Toledo – and while there were back-to-back seasons of brilliance in 1997 and 1998 – the rest of his tenure was, well… Toledo-esque.

Karl Dorrell’s stretch was nothing to write home to Mom about and current headman Rick Neuheisel’s run is still in its infant stages.

Holy Toledo – where for art thou, Terry?

Nick Saban (at LSU)

LSU certainly hasn’t been a doormat under Les Miles, but many could easily question his far-from-elite regime.  After all, the national title was won with Saban’s recruits.

Worse, Miles hasn’t been able to tell time to save his life.  Not only have there been the late game blunders with clock management, Miles was even late to his press conference during the 2010 SEC Media Days.

Someone needs to giftwrap a replica of Flava Flav’s clock, so that Les can wear it during the upcoming football season.

Maybe then he’ll get a better idea of the time – and before his own time is up.

TWHS thinks Les Miles needs a replica of Flava Flav's clock to assist with his clock management

R.C. Slocum (at Texas A&M)

The majority of critics would be quick to point out that Slocum’s bowl record (3-8) was reminiscent of something to be flushed down a different type of bowl – but looking back on his ability to maintain a clean program, while also showing compassion in comforting his players through tragic events such as the bonfire disasater, Slocum’s record would be welcomed back with open arms.

11 bowl games and a record of 123-47-2 over 14 seasons, that’s leaps and bounds over the Aggies’ performances over the last decade.

The 12^th man would simply love to have more than a dozen reasons to party on New Year’s Day again.

June Jones (at Hawai’i)

The Warriors went from aerial attack to verbal attack – as June Jones (75-41 as coach) developed lethal offenses featuring quarterbacks like Timmy Chang and Colt Brennan, while Greg McMackin only has launched a handful of derogatory comments and slurs.

What bigger collapse could anyone deliver in college sports – losing a former NFL coach and replacing him with a guy that many likely would still rather see roasted with an apple in his mouth.

Paul Pasqualoni (at Syracuse)

Syracuse is like the Apple of college football – cruising along, steady as a rock and then… BOOM… iPhone 4.

There was a bevy of success under Pasqualoni (who amassed 107 victories), and also Dick MacPherson before him.

The actual real beginning of the orange crush was 2005, when the ‘Cuse mustered just one victory in Greg Robinson’s first season as head coach.

Over four seasons, Robinson couldn’t even crack a dozen wins – and instead was left with egg on his face.  And while the Orange have been more competitive under Doug Marrone, a bowl game still feels like miles away – and saying that is very realistic – and not walking on eggshells.

The latest edition of Tomatoes climbs the vine of sports topics and touches upon many recent stories including football legends and their sons, golf legends faltering at another major, former NBA stars dreaming of a comeback and much, much more.

So as the headlines continue to get generated, more stories of sports frustration emerge.  Don’t sweat it, The Wife Hates Sports has them covered – in lycopene, that is.

Throwing Tomatoes: July 18, 2010

Nate Montana

…for being an apple that falls far from the tree.

Will Nate Montana be like his Dad, or just a "regular Joe"?

Nate Montana – a backup QB for Notre Dame and the son of Hall of Fame QB Joe Montana – was arrested for underage drinking over the weekend.

Fine, most college kids drink underage, I get that – but when you carry that name and family reputation for the Irish, one has to be smarter.

It’s not just making some critics think that the apple falls far from the tree, but instead of fruitful beginnings in South Bend, Irish fans are left thinking sour grapes.

Tiger Woods and the Media’s Crush

…for challenging my gag reflex.

A few years ago, I understood the media’s crush on Tiger Woods, even though I still felt it was a little much to show his every shot – even when out of contention during a major tournament.

Any chance we can tone down the Tiger coverage?

But now that he’s had his name dragged through the mud for months and months – and he’s failed to take a major or win a tournament all year, it’s about time that we take a step back in the Tiger coverage – just a hair.

Either that, or replace it with some more press conferences featuring Tiger and the British media – that would be the ‘bees knees’.

Pacquiao-Mayweather

… for being a sports topic with little punch.

It certainly feels like an eternity that this dream match between Pacquiao and Mayweather has been discussed.

In the end, it’s all bark and no bite.

As the deadline passes, it’s “blah blah blah”, trash talk stacked on top of trash talk – and in all likelihood, no match was decided upon because there wasn’t enough millions to go around for the two of them.

If you ask me, this story needs a permanent TKO.

Wendi Nix

…for botching a well-known sports movie line.

So I’m minding my own business watching coverage of the British Open championship, when Wendi Nix comes on to interview Rory McIlroy during coverage of the third round.

In the middle of the interview, Nix drops the line, “There’s no crying in football, so we’ll say there’s no crying in golf either…”

Hello, Wendi?

Talk about being in a “league of your own” – a female sportscaster that botches arguably one of the more famous lines in a sports movie featuring mostly females.

Maybe, I’m being a little overcritical – who knows.  I don’t know, what do you think, Tom?

Penny Hardaway

…for wanting to ride the coat tails of LeBron, D-Wade and Bosh.

I’ve already pitched in my two cents on this story, but it simply deserves a tomato, too – as Penny Hardaway has made it known that he’d like to come out of retirement and play for the Miami Heat this upcoming season.

Sure, if I had a penny for every person like Penny that said this, then… well… nevermind.

Joe Girardi

…for giving away an opportunity at home-field advantage in the World Series.

Joe Girardi could have handled the AL All-Star lineup better.

It’s no doubt a challenge when dealing with an All-Star lineup – and both Charlie Manuel and Joe Girardi were faced with a number of challenges in Anaheim a few short days ago.

But it’s Girardi that made the biggest blunders late in the game, leaving no speed on the bench and not pinch-running for Big Papi during a crucial time in the 9^th inning – one that could have made all the difference between earning home-field advantage and not.

Baseball and Mark Cuban

…for being a match made in hell.

Listen, I understand that Mark Cuban can be a strong personality, but he’s a passionate person and a great owner that puts a lot into his sports franchises.

The first part of that statement is why I understand why Major League Baseball continues to ignore him – first when he expressed interest in buying the Chicago Cubs, and recently when he “offered to help” with the Texas Rangers – a team that has had recent financial troubles and will be up for auction on August 4^th.

But wanting to win very badly and put blood, sweat and tears into his franchise… what’s wrong with that?

So, c’mon MLB – give “Cubes” a chance – this really could be a match made in heaven.

This has been Throwing Tomatoes, where no tears were shed in the writing of this post.

Beer, sports and football are three of the main staples in the daily lives of many men.

Tie in TV – the way most of us catch a big game – and more than likely, we’ll see a number of comical, amusing and creative commercials on beer.

For example, there’s Dos Equis – featuring the “most interesting man in the world”.

Just in case you live in a bubble, here’s a montage:

Now that you have your Dos Equis in hand (and the concept in mind), you’ll need a little sports to wash it down – so why not do so by gorging on a little college football?

If you had to discuss some of the bigger names in college football with a Dos Equis “most interesting man” spin – how would you handle it?

Here are 12 ways that I would:

The Dos Equis Spin: The Most (Insert Word) Men in the College Football World

Lane Kiffin

He’s managed a pro job in Oakland, a high-profile college gig (while sporting neon orange) and then skipped town to nab his dream job – all while really posting what many would simply (and generously) call mediocre career numbers.

He has more connections than US Airways.

He’s Lane Kiffin…. and he’s the most unaccomplished-accomplished man in the football world.

Randy Edsall

He’s had to fit a pigskin-shaped peg into a round basketball hole for years – and done it with class and passion.

Last year, he stared tragedy right in the face and said, “Bring it on”.

His talents are just a phone call away and it won’t be long before he’s the big man on campus

He’s Randy Edsall… and he’s the most underrated man in the college football world.

Pete Carroll

For years, the NFL kept calling and flirting with this king of southern California – but he was having too much fun in the sun.

Perhaps he brought new meaning to the phrase, “A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush” – Reggie Bush, that is.

Only he truly knows the real truth – but speculation takes a backseat to no one, especially when traveling north on the roads of the Pacific up to Seattle.

He’s Pete Carroll… and he’s the biggest escape artist in the football world.

Urban Meyer

If his passion were bottled and sold, you couldn’t keep him on the shelf.

But passion can come with a hefty price – in the form of health issues, then juggling between an ongoing coaching career and retirement.

One can’t help but notice one moment of sincerity with a talented QB that’s tears can save lives, countered with another moment of ferocity and anger directed at an innocent reporter.

Conclusion: He’s less Superman and more like a Batman character instead.

He’s Urban Meyer… and he’s the most two-faced man in the college football world.

Jake Locker

In a world where everyone tries to prove that money can indeed buy happiness, he puts that theory on hold.

Even with all the number one overall draft pick hype, he refuses to pick up call waiting when the pros come callin’.

Even when a star like Sam Bradford falls victim to a major injury, he stays put.

Money and fame are instead replaced by college, graduation and learning.

He’s Jake Locker… and he’s the most refreshing man in the college football world.

Brian Kelly

(AP Photo/Joe Raymond)

He took a non-existent football program and not only made them relevant, but put them in the BCS spotlight.

He’s not afraid to speak his mind – as his opinion on conference expansion is well documented.

He’s also not afraid to take on a big role and a huge responsibility – one where expectations are attacking him from all possible angles.

He’s Brian Kelly… and he’s the most pressured man in the college football world.

Joe Paterno

While the majority of football schools have a revolving door entrance into the coach’s office, his has a name plate written in permanent ink.

He’s charismatic, passionate, knowledgeable and experienced.

He’s also witty, feisty, stubborn and demanding.

No matter what he is, one thing’s for sure: he keeps on going and going.

He’s Joe Paterno… and he’s the Energizer Bunny of the college football world.

Nick Saban

If you ask him to “say cheese”, he’ll respond by saying “Limburger”.

If you gave him a dollar every time he smiled, he’d be more broke than MC Hammer.

Call it focus… call it determination… call it intensity.

Call it whatever you want – because no matter what, it’s working.

He’s Nick Saban… and he’s the least photogenic man in the college football world.

Adrian Clayborn

He has a tank-sized frame coupled with cartoon-like Road Runner legs.

He has the ability to change a game with one play and change a conference standing in one quarter.

He’s only begun to tap into his potential.

He’s Adrian Clayborn… and he’s the most talented defensive man in the college football world.

Terrelle Pryor

His choice as a freshman was LeBron-like in nature – and his talents are in that ballpark, too.

But to this point, he’s yet to be the best quarterback in his conference, let alone all of college football.

His potential has been growing and his game has been becoming more fine-tuned – so much that in the end, he may just match the hype he entered with.

He’s Terrelle Pryor… and he’s the most vigorous man in the college football world.

Rick Neuheisel

He stares adversity in the face and laughs at its appearance.

He’s reached settlements and gambled in the past – literally.

He renewed the passion and fire in an old Los Angeles area rivalry – all the while being the whipping boy to his next door neighbor.

Now, the doorway is open for him to walk through and own his new home – making it a one-horse town sporting powder blue.

He’s Rick Neuheisel… and he continues to be the most vindicated man in the college football world.

Rich Rodriguez

He left his former state of West Virginia feeling hot under the collar, only to plant himself in his current chair, which is hotter than Hades.

He went from six straight bowl games at WVU to the toilet bowl in Ann Arbor – taking over a legendary program and littering it with question marks, from losing records, to departing players, to rule violations.

Calling this season a “make-or-break year” is the understatement of the century.

He’s Rich Rodriguez… and he’s the most scrutinized man in the college football world.

Stay thirsty for football, my friends…

Drink Dos Equis - and maybe if you listen, the folks there will advertise with TWHS

* Also posted to my Bleacher Report page

Sure, the NCAA preaches sportsmanship and quality competition, but that doesn’t mean that it shows up on the field 100 percent of the time.

Who doesn’t enjoy a little bit of carnage every now and again, spicing things up?  Well, just as long as no one is seriously hurt, of course.

College football has seen its share of unleashed fury over the years – some in the form of quick outbreaks and others… nasty, violent brawls.

So, which were the nastiest?

Well, the forthcoming “dirty dozen” may not all be the worst of all-time, but they are the most recent to be caught on video (and displayed via You Tube).

Without further ado… here they are in no particular order – though the worst are saved for last:

“The Dirty Dozen”: 12 of College Football’s Nastiest, Filthiest Brawls

Notre Dame and Miami (1988)

The game – a 31-30 victory by Notre Dame – was considered one of the best games in the 1980’s.  Also referred to as “The Catholics vs. The Convicts”, the teams started up quite the frenzy before opening kickoff, igniting a pre-game fight in the tunnel.

Notre Dame and USC (1971)

The result of this game was a 28-14 upset victory by unranked USC over the Irish, who headed into the game ranked 6^th in the country.

However, this game wound up being more famous for the approximately 20-minute delay due to an on-the-field brawl.

Miami and South Carolina (1987)

This brawl started on a routine pass play where the pass protection broke down, South Carolina’s quarterback scrambled back, and instead of being sacked – he was slung to the turf like a rag dolll.

The result of that play was some pushing and shoving, a few bodies flailing for the ball and the next thing you know, the benches had cleared.

LeGarrette Blount (Oregon) vs. Byron Hout (Boise State) – 2009

OK, so this wasn’t much of a brawl – but it was last season and fresh in everyone’s mind.

Blount – who talked a lot of trash pre-game – couldn’t hold up his end of the bargain as Boise State manhandled the Ducks.

In the end, Hout couldn’t resist opening his mouth during the post-game, and the result was Blount delivering a cheap shot and losing his cool later – eventually leading to a team suspension.

Ole Miss and Mississippi State (1997)

Don’t let the soft-boiled Egg Bowl name fool you – these two teams hate each other, especially during the 1997 game, which started out as a pre-game brawl and ended with a 15-14 victory by Ole Miss.

It isn’t the highest quality video, but you get the idea – that a few shells were definitely cracked during this rivalry grudge match.

UCLA and USC (2009)

Rick Neuheisel and Pete Carroll brought fire back to this rivalry, especially in last year’s match – when a late-game timeout by UCLA turned into a long bomb for a TD by USC.

After all was said it done, the teams were on the field ready to fight – and while this didn’t turn into much of anything, it certainly could have.

Western and Eastern Arizona (2009)

Sure, they’re smaller football schools – but judging by the video, “you throw out the records when these two face each other”, as the popular phrase goes.

It all appeared to be a routine scrub, until a few cheap shots by players on each team resulted in a much more aggressive dogpile of players that seemed to migrate across the field toward the end zone.

Maritime and Kings Point College (2007)

Here’s yet another scrum between smaller schools, though it’s almost “Oregon Blount-like” in nature – except when the one player landed the punch, his opponent was borderline laid out.

I mean, that guy didn’t have a chance – he fell like a load of bricks.  If that kid didn’t make it in football, then he should’ve also considered boxing for a second career.  Here’s the video:

Georgia and Georgia Tech (2008 and then some)

This video features more of a montage instead of a single melee, which just goes to show that the hatred runs pretty deep in this in-state rivalry between the Bulldogs and Yellow Jackets.

If you don’t buy it, then take a look for yourself.

Houston and Hawaii (2003)

Hawaii also had a major brawl with Cincinnati during the 2002 season, so it’s safe to say that the Warriors were a bit of a feisty bunch over recent years – not what you would expect from a place where so many travel to for laid-back vacations.

The 2003 Sheraton Hawai’i Bowl wasn’t just a wild one for the brawl that occurred once the game was over, but also for the game itself – a 54-48 win by Hawaii.

Clemson and South Carolina (2004)

Lou Holtz – South Carolina’s coach at the time – did the best he could to keep this brawl from happening, but there just was too much boiling over from a rivalry like this that has been going on for as long as it has.

The incident happened with less than six minutes to go in the game, and has often been referred to as one of the worst moments in the rivalry’s history.

In fact, each of the schools reacted to the incident as such – with both administrations swiping away postseason berths, while also each suspending six players apiece.

Florida International and Miami (2006)

This was arguably one of the worst brawls in college football history – featuring kicks to the head with cleats and players using helmets as a weapon.  Certainly, a number of charges and suspensions were added after the dust settled – 31 to be exact.

FIU also dismissed a few players from the team entirely.

The video shows just how bad it was – and quite honestly, this was the most fight each of these teams showed that during particular season.  It’s just a shame that it had to be in this negative of a manner.

* Also posted to my B/R page

For those of you familiar with Twitter, you will know how a topic can so easily spread like wildfire – especially one that causes any kind of controversy or humor.

Today, it was the latter – and in a big way, as the “sports twitterverse” latched on to a video posted by the University of Notre Dame – yes the university itself, promoting the “We are ND” concept in… well, we’ll call it a funky rap.

And wow, did it ever bring a few laughs – albeit quite unlikely the intention.

LOVE the Irish or HATE the Irish, we should all bond and get a good chuckle at this video.

Check it out for yourself below, but if you ask me – this is the REAL reason that Jimmy Clausen and Golden Tate bolted from the Irish a year early.