When men are asked about their favorite sports movies, often the list includes classics such as Caddyshack, Hoosiers, Major League, Slapshot and Field of Dreams – but what about THE WIFE?  Specifically a WIFE that HATES sports?  Let’s find out…

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A few weeks ago, we finally got around to watching The Blind Side. I absolutely loved it – such a feel-good, heart felt true story that’s well portrayed and entertaining. What’s not to love? While I might not always appreciate sports, I am certainly able to appreciate a good movie! And yes, the 2 sometimes do go hand in hand … so much so that I can even come up with a top 10 list.

The Wife’s Top Ten Greatest Sports Movies

I won’t even bother to say ‘of all time’ because that’s not a fair statement. I mean, I can hardly attempt to say I’ve seen them all and my tastes are obviously a bit biased =)

10. Days of Thunder

Ok, ok, don’t poke fun at this one. Remember, I grew up in a NASCAR household. Still, it features a young, still sane Tom Cruise!

9. Tin Cup

A younger, sexy Kevin Costner with Cheech as a sidekick. Pure entertainment.

8. Fever Pitch

It’s cute, quirky and set in Boston. Not to mention the excitement that they actually had to change the ending because the Red Sox finally pulled it off. Classic.

7. Remember the Titans

Yet another feel-good, classic sports movie. And who doesn’t love Denzel?

6. Jerry Maguire

“You had me at hello.” Need I say more?

5. Bend it Like Beckham

Seriously, what ‘wife’ can say they don’t like this movie??

4. Million Dollar Baby

Ugh, such a heart wrenching story and Clint Eastwood is amazing.

3. A League of Their Own

Tom Hanks is amazing along with an all-star cast (literally) and a throwback to an era that fascinates me.

2. The Blind Side

I’m not so sure Sandra Bullock’s performance was Oscar worthy, but if I were a member of the Tuohy family, I’d be thrilled by the entire movie.

1. The Cutting Edge

“Just remember who said it first.” I honestly think I could recite this entire movie by heart. And yes, figure skating is most definitely a sport.

The latest edition of Tomatoes climbs the vine of sports topics and touches upon many recent stories including football legends and their sons, golf legends faltering at another major, former NBA stars dreaming of a comeback and much, much more.

So as the headlines continue to get generated, more stories of sports frustration emerge.  Don’t sweat it, The Wife Hates Sports has them covered – in lycopene, that is.

Throwing Tomatoes: July 18, 2010

Nate Montana

…for being an apple that falls far from the tree.

Will Nate Montana be like his Dad, or just a "regular Joe"?

Nate Montana – a backup QB for Notre Dame and the son of Hall of Fame QB Joe Montana – was arrested for underage drinking over the weekend.

Fine, most college kids drink underage, I get that – but when you carry that name and family reputation for the Irish, one has to be smarter.

It’s not just making some critics think that the apple falls far from the tree, but instead of fruitful beginnings in South Bend, Irish fans are left thinking sour grapes.

Tiger Woods and the Media’s Crush

…for challenging my gag reflex.

A few years ago, I understood the media’s crush on Tiger Woods, even though I still felt it was a little much to show his every shot – even when out of contention during a major tournament.

Any chance we can tone down the Tiger coverage?

But now that he’s had his name dragged through the mud for months and months – and he’s failed to take a major or win a tournament all year, it’s about time that we take a step back in the Tiger coverage – just a hair.

Either that, or replace it with some more press conferences featuring Tiger and the British media – that would be the ‘bees knees’.

Pacquiao-Mayweather

… for being a sports topic with little punch.

It certainly feels like an eternity that this dream match between Pacquiao and Mayweather has been discussed.

In the end, it’s all bark and no bite.

As the deadline passes, it’s “blah blah blah”, trash talk stacked on top of trash talk – and in all likelihood, no match was decided upon because there wasn’t enough millions to go around for the two of them.

If you ask me, this story needs a permanent TKO.

Wendi Nix

…for botching a well-known sports movie line.

So I’m minding my own business watching coverage of the British Open championship, when Wendi Nix comes on to interview Rory McIlroy during coverage of the third round.

In the middle of the interview, Nix drops the line, “There’s no crying in football, so we’ll say there’s no crying in golf either…”

Hello, Wendi?

Talk about being in a “league of your own” – a female sportscaster that botches arguably one of the more famous lines in a sports movie featuring mostly females.

Maybe, I’m being a little overcritical – who knows.  I don’t know, what do you think, Tom?

Penny Hardaway

…for wanting to ride the coat tails of LeBron, D-Wade and Bosh.

I’ve already pitched in my two cents on this story, but it simply deserves a tomato, too – as Penny Hardaway has made it known that he’d like to come out of retirement and play for the Miami Heat this upcoming season.

Sure, if I had a penny for every person like Penny that said this, then… well… nevermind.

Joe Girardi

…for giving away an opportunity at home-field advantage in the World Series.

Joe Girardi could have handled the AL All-Star lineup better.

It’s no doubt a challenge when dealing with an All-Star lineup – and both Charlie Manuel and Joe Girardi were faced with a number of challenges in Anaheim a few short days ago.

But it’s Girardi that made the biggest blunders late in the game, leaving no speed on the bench and not pinch-running for Big Papi during a crucial time in the 9^th inning – one that could have made all the difference between earning home-field advantage and not.

Baseball and Mark Cuban

…for being a match made in hell.

Listen, I understand that Mark Cuban can be a strong personality, but he’s a passionate person and a great owner that puts a lot into his sports franchises.

The first part of that statement is why I understand why Major League Baseball continues to ignore him – first when he expressed interest in buying the Chicago Cubs, and recently when he “offered to help” with the Texas Rangers – a team that has had recent financial troubles and will be up for auction on August 4^th.

But wanting to win very badly and put blood, sweat and tears into his franchise… what’s wrong with that?

So, c’mon MLB – give “Cubes” a chance – this really could be a match made in heaven.

This has been Throwing Tomatoes, where no tears were shed in the writing of this post.

Game over, Carmelo – literally.

After tonight, there will be a NEW WIFE in sports – as NBA superstar and Denver Nuggets small forward Carmelo “Melo” Anthony is tying the knot with TV personality Alani “LaLa” Vazquez.

It sounds like it promises to be quite an event, with plenty of well-known names attending,including newest unofficial member of the Miami Heat – and least favorite person in Cleveland – LeBron James.

The couple has been engaged since Christmas of 2004, and they have a son – Kiyan Carmelo Anthony, who was born in 2007.

It’s safe to say that a lot of us sports fans know who “Melo” is: key member of a national champion Syracuse team and later drafted by the Denver Nuggets with the third pick in the first round in the 2003 NBA Draft.

Since entering the NBA, Anthony has helped push his team to the playoffs every year.  Carmelo is also a three-time All-Star, winner of multiple Olympic medals and has scored 20+ plus points per game every season since entering the NBA.

But many ask the question, “Who’s LaLa?”

I know this because upon researching her, the majority of people can’t even spell her name correctly – including via this New York Post piece discussing their wedding.

Well, that’s the case if her official blog site is correct – which I assume that it would be.

Between “Lala” and “LaLa” or “Vasquez” and “Vazquez”, the options almost feel endless – but who is she, you may ask?

In a nutshell, Alani “LaLa” Vazquez is a former MTV VJ, a radio personality and a whole lot more, from producer to mother to aspiring actress.

On top of all that, she’s also quite striking – as you will see below in a pictorial presented by The Wife Hates Sports – in honor of the NEW WIFE in sports.

Well, officially new, at least.

LaLa Vazquez – Wife of Carmelo Anthony

 

Nice catch, Carmelo – and good luck to you both.

Image Credits: Bikini Shots SI.com – as you will see via the blown up images

Thank you Miranda… wait, that’s one of the characters, right?

Sex and the City… it’s like crack for women.  They flocked to see the first movie – and they’ll flock to see the sequel, too.

As a guy, I don’t really understand why – but then again, I haven’t seen an episode.

But it’s funny, as I realize the sequel is coming out – because it’s being advertised like crazy… that and I’ve noticed that the localized estrogen levels appear to be above the legal limit.

To be honest, Sex and the City 2 looks somewhat ridiculous.

So wait, these four women are somewhere now where camels roam – yet they’re still sporting shoes that cost more than my entire closet?

And women want to see this?

OK, well… I approve… because if the sequel will be anything like the first movie, the women are already plotting their escape for an evening of sex (in movie form), drinks, gossip and… well, whatever it is women do when they’re out together.

And this is where I step in to declare the Sex and the City 2 movie to be the NEW official sponsor of GUYS NIGHT OUT…

Because there are some men in the world that can go out as they please – as they’re not tied down.

There are also those men that have open situations with the wife where a guys’ night out is no big thing from time to time.

Then there are those that could have their pants lit on fire – but not be able to leave the house to hose themselves down with a stream of water.

For those guys, we encourage you to promote Sex and the City 2.

Let me dive in further…

• When the commercials come on, turn the TV up if the wife is out of the room.

• When the ads for Sex and the City 2 are on, engage with the wife: “Wow, honey… that looks great, you should really get out with some of your friends and watch that one Saturday night.”

• If the wife hasn’t seen the first one, rent it – or toss it to the top of your Netflix queue.  Hell, maybe even buy it on sale at Target or Amazon, if you can.

• On top of that, maybe do a little something romantic to help put her in the mood when she gets back – I mean… you’ve seen the title of the movie, right?

Got me?

Whatever you do, don’t research the show so much that you get dragged to it yourself… that is, if you’re even allowed in.

Seriously, is the movie not just Rated R, but also Rated F – for females only?

Quite possibly…

So while the majority of the ladies bust down the doors at your local theater – spewing out more estrogen than at a bachelorette party – that leaves the men… free for a night out as well.

Because men, you love the wife – but every now and then, you need a night out for some sports and beers.

So, break out the grill, guys – cheer up a few cold ones – and pull a line from Swingers and call me “MONEY” for the idea, because it’s GUYS NIGHT OUT.

Thank me all you want – but also thank those swanky shoe-wearin’ ladies, too – whatever their names are again.

*Note: The following movie clip contains language not suitable for all audiences

In sports, athletes with spectacular performances earn all kinds of accolades – from MVP awards to trophies, and so on.

Here, at The Wife Hates Sports, gold stars are earned – kind of like a grade school teacher would place on a good student’s homework.

After another hot weekend in the world of sports, there were just too many great performances that yours truly had to break out the stars to honor some of the best…

Gold Stars: May 9, 2010

Dallas Braden

An extra gold star goes out to those who have even heard of the guy, as I’m willing to bet not everyone has.

Either way, Braden is a starting pitcher for the Oakland A’s, who not only shut down one of the best teams in baseball in the Tampa Bay Rays (second in runs to be exact) – but he threw a perfect game against them – the 19^th in MLB history.

On top of that, his grandmother – who raised him, was present to celebrate on Mother’s Day.

Congrats, young man.

Rajon Rondo

Honestly, Rondo is often overshadowed by a number of other point guards in the NBA – but you can’t ignore this ridiculous stat line in Game 4 against the top-seeded Cavs on Sunday:

29 points, 18 rebounds and 13 assists…

Yes, that’s a triple-double, and YES that’s 18 boards for a point guard.

Can we NOW put his name as one of the best, please?

Betty White

The WIFE has also put in high grades for White’s recent performance on SNL – and to be honest, I’m not a frequent viewer anymore, but the best thing that could have happened to the late-night skit show was the facebook press pushing for Betty to be host… because she was hysterical – and it was an SNL show that I laughed at consistently for the first time in a VERY long time.

Seriously… Betty may have joked that her “muffin hasn’t had a cherry since 1939”, but her performance on Saturday Night Live was the cherry on top of a few years of subpar late-night desserts.

If you haven’t checked out this Golden Girl’s performance, I’d recommend it – as a handful of SNL’ers were back to pitch in.

Orlando Magic

I’ve been saying it for days now – but amidst all the hype and desire for a Lakers vs. Cavs NBA Finals matchup, the Orlando Magic are a beast growing stronger and stronger.

Orlando remains unbeaten in the postseason, now taking a commanding 3-0 lead over the Atlanta Hawks, all of which were dominate victories.

The warning sign is this: the Magic could use some adversity.  After all, look at LeBron and Co. last year – who cruised into the Eastern Conference Finals, only to face adversity and bow out.  The same could happen if the Magic aren’t careful.

Tim Clark

Of all the other great stories this weekend, Clark’s story is right there at the top.

The PGA media is guilty of having a crush on Tiger and Phil – and deservably so as each has earned to be the talk of the town – but there needs to be more attention to the winners of the tournaments, too.

Clark, who put on a masterful performance at the TPC – earned his FIRST ever victory on the PGA Tour.

So congrats, Tim… it was a great weekend, and finally that monkey can hop off your back and take a friggin’ hike.

Mom on Mother’s Day

Finally, as this special day winds down, it’s important to acknowledge the mothers of the world.

In my case, Mom isn’t just a caring and fantastic family matriarch, but she’s grown into quite the sports fan – so much that she at times puts me to shame – which says something considering my obsession and aspirations to be more firmly cemented in the sports world.

I celebrate you, Mom – and thanks so much for everything you have done for me – and for talking sports with me, too.

And for that… the wife thanks you, too.

This has been Gold Stars… where there’s no back talk, because then we’ll have to wash our mouths out with soap.