Last year, it started as a simple idea, a grand experiment that would match up yours truly (the man behind The Wife Hates Sports) against THE WIFE, the Sports Chump, a special guest and a simple coin toss.  Here we go again starting with the NFL Week 1 Picks!

It later became a grand embarrassment for our pal, the Chump, who failed to beat THE WIFE and the coin toss.

In his NFL Week 1 Picks opener, the Chump acknowledged his demise last season, though he failed to mention that THE WIFE topped him.

That’s THE WIFE that HATES sports – and often picks her games while scrolling through people.com and barely even paying attention.

SportsChump wants a clean slate and he’s got one.

The gang’s all back for the sequel and like all follow-up flicks, we can’t promise that this year’s edition will be able to compete with the first one.

Oh and if you’re interested in being a special guest, reach out and we’ll try to fit you in.

That’s what she said.

Yes, that’s recycled humor from Week 1 of last season.

It’s a sequel, remember?

OK, let’s move forward with the madness, shall we?

It’s once again time to “Pick Your Knows” – the only time it’s not a disgusting habit – and here are Week 1’s games (with spreads as they appeared through CBS Sports on 9/8/15):

KP picks the spreads, facing THE WIFE, the Sports Chump, a simple coin toss and a special guest

NFL Week 1 Picks: Spreads vs THE WIFE, the SportsChump, a coin toss and a special guest

KP’s “Pick Your Knows”: 2015 NFL Week 1 Picks

Pittsburgh Steelers at New England Patriots (-7.5)

Big Ben and the Steelers said they wanted to play Brady.  Well, they got him.  Only, Pittsburgh just doesn’t have the same defense that it has had in the recent past.  Toss in an emotional season opener where New England fans and players had to suffer through the uncertainty and frustration of the Deflategate drama.  Belichick and Brady will be well-equipped with plenty of weapons, including a healthy Gronk.  If you like offense, there should be plenty here, so “getcha popcorn ready”.  Just don’t scream “Roll ‘em!”, considering all the recent Spygate reports that have emerged.  Pats cover.

KP’s Pick: New England Patriots

Green Bay Packers at Chicago Bears (+6.5)

The Packers lost Jordy Nelson for the season, which clearly hurts, but it could eventually be thought of as a minor bump in the road, considering all the talent in Green Bay.  The recent acquisition of James Jones also helps, who is more than familiar with the Packers’ offense.  Throw in some tenacity on defense and offensive balance with Eddie Lacy, and new Chicago head coach John Fox will have his hands full.  Heck, he had his hands full with Jay Cutler, as it is.  Packers cover on the road.

KP’s Pick: Green Bay Packers

Seattle Seahawks at St. Louis Rams (+4.5)

The Rams usually hang tight with Seattle and will have the home-field advantage.  Rookie Todd Gurley will not be healthy for the opener, which hurts the depth in St. Louis.  On the other side, Russell Wilson has some toys to play with, mainly TE Jimmy Graham, who was acquired from the Saints during the offseason.  After seeing what Seattle did to Green Bay to open last season, this pick seems like a no-brainer.  Different season, yes.  Yes, different team.  Different result, no.  ‘Hawks cover.

KP’s Pick: Seattle Seahawks

Cleveland Browns at New York Jets (-3.5)

Bring plenty of beer for this one, and try to tamper your expectations if you’re a member of the team that finishes the week 1-0.  The strengths of these teams lie in the secondary, headlined by Haden and Revis.  On the quarterback side, Ryan Fitzpatrick tends to throw multiple interceptions per game, which could benefit the Browns.  But let’s not overanalyze this one and please let’s not talk about Johnny Manziel or Geno Smith.  Instead, let’s focus on the likely fourth quarter game-winner in what could finish as a 9-6 win.  I’ll take the Browns and the points, but I won’t like it.

KP’s Pick: Cleveland Browns

Carolina Panthers at Jacksonville Jaguars (+3.5)

If you read the 2015 over/under predictions that I wrote up, you’ll already know that I’m high on Jacksonville’s young talent and low on Carolina’s offense (without Kelvin Benjamin).  Bear in mind, the Panthers have the more seasoned team, but with the homefield advantage, I’m willing to put my neck out there for Blake Bortles, T.J. Yeldon and Allen Robinson.  We’ll see if I pay for that one later.

KP’s Pick: Jacksonville Jaguars

Kansas City Chiefs at Houston Texans (-1.5)

Tossup games are tough in Week 1.  Houston has the homefield advantage and the tenacious J.J. Watt, but other than that, it’s hard to ignore the talent gap, at least, offensively.  Alex Smith has been steady with the Chiefs, who also have Jamaal Charles and speedy WR Jeremy Maclin.  Houston will go with Brian Hoyer and will be without Arian Foster, who is injured (shocker).  Give me the Chiefs.

KP’s Pick: Kansas City Chiefs

Miami Dolphins at Washington Redskins (+3.5)

Kirk Cousins starts for the Redskins and last season, he showed some flashes, while also making a number of bad throws.  Washington had a solid offseason, adding a lot of necessary pieces, but this team has a long way to go.  Meanwhile, many are praising Ryan Tannehill and how he has played during the preseason.  On top of that, the Dolphins beefed up its talent on defense and added a ton of speed on offense.  Overall, Miami is the better team and should cover on the road.

KP’s Pick: Miami Dolphins

Indianapolis Colts at Buffalo Bills (+2.5)

LeSean McCoy, Percy Harvin and Charles Clay are among the new names in Buffalo, all to be coached by headline-maker Rex Ryan.  Say what you want about his personality and ability to acquire talent, until Rex can push a team to the next level, he’s overrated as a head coach.  The Colts, meanwhile, are a passing machine and Buffalo will have a tough time shutting down Andrew Luck.  Indy covers.

KP’s Pick: Indianapolis Colts

New Orleans Saints at Arizona Cardinals (-2.5)

On one side, you have Drew Brees, who had an off year in 2014 and now leads an offense that will be without the likes of Jimmy Graham, Kenny Stills and Pierre Thomas.  On the other end, you have a strong Arizona team that desperately needs its quarterback (Carson Palmer) to stay healthy.  The Cards are a very tough team to beat at home, w hich is where they will be in Week 1.  I truly believe that despite not having the household names to throw to, Drew Brees will have a bounceback season in 2015.  It just won’t start in Week 1.  Take the Cardinals to cover at home.

KP’s Pick: Arizona Cardinals

Detroit Lions at San Diego Chargers (-3.5)

The Chargers typically are very strong at home, as most teams are.  Meanwhile, a lot of people seem to be down on the Lions.  Melvin Gordon is the solid rookie back from Wisconsin, but he struggled a bit for San Diego in the preseason.  That could lead to a pass heavy offense led by Philip Rivers.  Detroit has Calvin Johnson and Golden State as receivers anchoring its offense.  This looks like it will be one of those 27-24 type games that will be decided by a field goal late in the fourth quarter.  Therefore, I’ll take Detroit and the points.

KP’s Pick: Detroit Lions

Baltimore Ravens at Denver Broncos (-4.5)

There are a number of Peyton Manning doubters after the future Hall of Famer faded at the end of last season.  I am not one of those doubters and don’t think it will be an issue for Manning to mesh well with Gary Kubiak and his offense.  Denver will have balance with C.J. Anderson in the run game, too.  As for Baltimore, the Ravens appear likely to have a depth issue at wide receiver for Week 1, with rookie Breshad Perriman doubtful.  Plain and simple, a potent passing attack will be needed to stay in this game.  Give me Peyton and the Broncos to cover at home.

KP’s Pick: Denver Broncos

Tennessee Titans at Tampa Bay Buccaneers (-3.5)

Here’s something that will hit the history books: The top two quarterbacks in the draft will face off in Week 1 and one of these players will win his debut.  With Mariota vs. Winston, it will be how each manages the game and limits his mistakes.  More importantly, it will be coaching and each team’s supporting cast.  Playing at home, I like the talent of the Bucs, especially with receivers Mike Evans and Vincent Jackson.  I’ll take Tampa to win by a TD at home, leaving some fan out there to ship Winston all the crab legs that he wants.

KP’s Pick: Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Cincinnati Bengals at Oakland Raiders (+3.5)

Oakland is actually going to give teams headaches this season, especially with its passing game that features QB Derek Carr, along with rookie WR Amari Cooper and steady veteran Michael Crabtree.  The Week 1 problem will be the aggressiveness of the Bengals, a team capable of amassing numerous sacks and forcing plenty of mistakes.  I’ll take the talent of Cincy to win its opening week on the road.

KP’s Pick: Cincinnati Bengals

New York Giants at Dallas Cowboys (-5.5)

Nothing like an old-fashioned, NFC East grudge match to anchor the opening weekend of the NFL season! The Giants and Cowboys are certain to put up a ton of yards, especially in the passing game, where players like Odell Beckham Jr. and Dez Bryant are likely to have big days.  The question will be which quarterback limits his mistakes, Eli Manning or Tony Romo.  I don’t know the prop bets on Odell one-handed catches or total number of “crownies” made by Tony Romo, but I do know that this game smells like one of those 31-27 back-and-forth battles.  That’s why I’m taking the Giants and the points.

KP’s Pick: New York Giants

Philadelphia Eagles at Atlanta Falcons (+2.5)

Shootout alert!  On one side, you have Chip Kelly’s high-octane offense and on the other, it’s Matt Ryan, Julio Jones and Atlanta’s potent pass attack.  In the end, the Falcons look like they’ll be one-dimensional again this season, and should feature a defense that is likely to give up points in bunches.  Hey, whaddaya know, Chip Kelly and the Eagles score points in bunches.  Yep, you know what that means… Philly covers in a high-scoring, defenseless extravaganza.

KP’s Pick: Philadelphia Eagles

Minnesota Vikings at San Francisco 49ers (+2.5)

Adrian Peterson is back and has something to prove, while Teddy Bridgewater is one of the more hyped quarterbacks, poised for a breakout season.  Meanwhile, the Niners lost everyone and their mother during the offseason, including Jim Harbaugh and his $7 khakis.  San Francisco will be playing at home and will need big games from both Colin Kaepernick and Carlos Hyde.  But with all the key losses on defense, expect Adrian Peterson to run wild.  Vikes cover on the road

KP’s Pick: Minnesota Vikings

 

THE WIFE

She HATES sports, but will pick teams in hopes of leading to your embarrassment (and there was plenty of that last year).  No blurb, just her NFL Week 1 Picks, and we’re lucky to get that much!

Pittsburgh Steelers at New England Patriots (-7.5) – Patriots

Green Bay Packers at Chicago Bears (+6.5) – Packers

Seattle Seahawks at St. Louis Rams (+4.5) – Rams

Cleveland Browns at New York Jets (-3.5) – Jets

Carolina Panthers at Jacksonville Jaguars (+3.5) – Jaguars

Kansas City Chiefs at Houston Texans (-1.5) – Chiefs

Miami Dolphins at Washington Redskins (+3.5) – Dolphins

Indianapolis Colts at Buffalo Bills (+2.5) – Colts

New Orleans Saints at Arizona Cardinals (-2.5) – Saints

Detroit Lions at San Diego Chargers (-3.5) – Chargers

Baltimore Ravens at Denver Broncos (-4.5) – Broncos

Tennessee Titans at Tampa Bay Buccaneers (-3.5) – Titans

Cincinnati Bengals at Oakland Raiders (+3.5) – Raiders

New York Giants at Dallas Cowboys (-5.5) – Cowboys

Philadelphia Eagles at Atlanta Falcons (+2.5) – Eagles

Minnesota Vikings at San Francisco 49ers (+2.5) – Vikings

 

COIN FLIP – NFL Week 1 Picks

This quarter refuses to be referred to as “Chump change”… see what I did there?  Oh, and by the way, HEADS equals the HOME team, and TAILS is a vote for the AWAY team.

Pittsburgh Steelers at New England Patriots (-7.5) – Steelers

Green Bay Packers at Chicago Bears (+6.5) – Bears

Seattle Seahawks at St. Louis Rams (+4.5) – Rams

Cleveland Browns at New York Jets (-3.5) – Jets

Carolina Panthers at Jacksonville Jaguars (+3.5) – Panthers

Kansas City Chiefs at Houston Texans (-1.5) – Chiefs

Miami Dolphins at Washington Redskins (+3.5) – Redskins

Indianapolis Colts at Buffalo Bills (+2.5) – Bills

New Orleans Saints at Arizona Cardinals (-2.5) – Cardinals

Detroit Lions at San Diego Chargers (-3.5) – Chargers

Baltimore Ravens at Denver Broncos (-4.5) – Broncos

Tennessee Titans at Tampa Bay Buccaneers (-3.5) – Titans

Cincinnati Bengals at Oakland Raiders (+3.5) – Bengals

New York Giants at Dallas Cowboys (-5.5) – Giants

Philadelphia Eagles at Atlanta Falcons (+2.5) – Falcons

Minnesota Vikings at San Francisco 49ers (+2.5) – 49ers

 

SPORTSCHUMP’S NFL Week 1 Picks

My long-time friend is back and seeking revenge.  Here are a few of the Chump’s Week 1 selections, and you best go see the rest at his site.

I’m swaying on this pick.  How much does Peyton Manning have left in his tank?  Are the Ravens as good as they’ve been in the past defensively?  My answer to these two questions are a little and no, so I’m taking the Broncos to cover as they begin one last push for greatness.

What a way to welcome Rex Ryan to Buffalo.  Have him play the projected Super Bowl favorites in Week One.  I think the Bills will turn some heads this season (which is why I drafted LeSean McCoy on my fantasy team) but it ain’t gonna happen against the neck beard and his new-fangled offense.  Ryan may have a game plan for Indy.  I’m just not quite sure he has the talent to put it into effect.  I’ll take the Colts minus.

So with all the great games we have in Week One, why do we get one of the worst one as the Monday late game?  Oh that’s right… Goodell.  People think this might be the year the Vikes turn the corner.  I’m not one of them.  People also think the Niners are on their way to hitting rock bottom.  I AM one of them.  This game sucks but at home, I’ll take the Niners at the 2.5 just because.

 

Special Guest: Hanahan

Here are a few picks from Hanahan, who went 7-9 with his NFL Week 1 Picks from last season.  The rest of his selections are over at Sports Chump…

The Pack at Da Bears… in early September?! WTF! We want the ‘Frozen Tundra’, not Windy City humidity! No matter, Packers blaze through Chicago, covering their 7, GB, 30-17

Miami goes to DC, and brings along some defense this time! A boy named Suh, and his crew roll on the #%$skins nonexistent offense. Dolphins give 4 and win it 30-14

Bucs laying 3 to the Titans? Anyone who watches this game on TV has a serious gambling problem. TB, 12-6