It’s quite clear that College Football has fallen into a set of specific patterns and reputations over the last handful of years, among which include the following:

  • The SEC is dominating the postseason and grabbing most of the BCS National Championships (including the last five)
  • The Big Ten has, at times, underachieved during the bowl season
  • More and more schools are getting nailed with sanctions
  • Conference expansion is not over with, and we could be a few years away from having a few superconferences
  • Teams like Boise State are not going away, and major schools are scared to schedule a home-and-home with the Broncos

And finally, while these are just a few in a long list of many, the one that’s arguably the most commonly muttered in college football today is:

  • The SEC is fast and the Big Ten is slow

While in many instances this is true, the fact itself doesn’t always result in a loss each and every time for the Big Ten – and more importantly, this is not even the time to argue this point, but instead to share some trash talk that falls under that same subject matter.

It was delivered from a member of the SEC and launched in the direction of the Big Ten.

Specifically, Bobby Petrino, the head coach of the Arkansas Razorbacks, who during a Little Rock Touchdown Club meeting said:

“We need to get to Atlanta and win the SEC championship game.  And then history shows that you go to a national championship bowl game and draw one of those slow schools from the north and you beat them.”

I’ll do my part and speak for Big Ten fans, addressing Bobby Petrino in the following manner:

bobby-petrino-complaining-to-official-arkansas-razorbacks

Hey Big Ten fans: Bobby Petrino had some choice words for your teams

Dear Bobby,

I find it comical that you would talk smack in the direction of the Big Ten, and even mutter the words “national championship” under your breath, for that matter.  Sure, your Little Rock audience was perfect for such a jab, but don’t you know that the media today can and will get a hold of any line possible?

And since we are all having fun, let’s point out a few stats and figures regarding your career, along with the performance of your school, the Arkansas Razorbacks:

  • Arkansas, in its last five bowl games (dating back to 2003) has faced the Big Ten on two different occasions.  Both were losses.  Wisconsin beat Arkansas 17-14 in the 2006 Capital One Bowl and Ohio State beat Arkansas in the 2010 Sugar Bowl 31-26.
  • Arkansas’ all-time bowl record is a vomit-worthy 12-23-3.
  • Your career record while coaching at Arkansas is a mediocre 23-15.
  • Your career bowl record is an equally mediocre 3-3.
  • Your road record while at Arkansas is 4-9.
  • Your career record versus the Top 10 is 3-8, and while with Arkansas, that record is 1-7.
  • Your career record against the Top 25 is 10-15.

Please don’t be surprised when you fail to receive a Christmas card this year, Bobby.

In fact, while you’re at it, maybe you should toss some jabs in the direction of the Atlanta Falcons and their fans, too – quitter.

What, we’re just having fun and cracking jokes, right?

C’mon, where’s your sense of humor?

Thank you for your candor and enjoy the 2011 football season.

Signed,

Slow Big Ten Fans

 

** Certain specific CFB stats courtesy of Phil Steele’s 2011 College Football Preview – if you don’t own one, seriously, go out and get it – it’s fantastic!

 

 

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