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Throwing Tomatoes: Rashard Mendenhall, Washington Capitals, Ryan Mallett, Frank McCourt, A Mark Ingram Statue and Other Underachievements

Over the last week, the sports world has continued to be active, from the ongoing excitement of the NBA and NHL playoffs, to Major League Baseball hitting its second month, to the 2011 NFL Draft and more.

So as the sports world turns, the stories pile up and moments of idiotic sports frustration emerge.  Don’t sweat it, The Wife Hates Sports has them all covered – in lycopene, that is.

Throwing Tomatoes: May 4, 2011

Rashard Mendenhall

stupid-pills-the-wife-hates-sports

KP thinks Rashard Mendenhall recently took one too many stupid pills

By now, most of you are familiar with Mendenhall’s comments regarding Osama bin Laden (via his Twitter account) – and like many of you – I’m speechless.  I’m all for a guy exercising his right to freedom of speech, but plain and simple, when you’re in a spotlight such as the one Mendenhall is in – your soap box is larger.  A guy simply needs to be smarter, and not drop such words about an incident that has affected so many people.  I can think of no other excuse other than the fact that the Steelers RB took one too many stupid pills that day.

Washington Capitals

It’s becoming a hand-in-hand marriage – the Stanley Cup Playoffs arrive, and the Washington Capitals are a highly-rated, underachieving bunch.  Trailing 3-0 in the Eastern Conference Semis to Tampa Bay, Washington still has a chance, albeit a small one.  After all, the Flyers did it to the Bruins last year, and the Blackhawks forced a Game 7 against the Canucks this year.  But with the Caps, this has become the norm, and a comeback seems about as likely as Alexander Ovechkin doing a commercial for Crest.  Heck, four out of five dentists likely agree, too.

Come 2012, a change may need to happen, and let’s face the painful facts D.C.; you can’t spell Ovechkin without the letters C-H-O-K-E.

alexander-ovechkin-celebrates-for-washington-capitals

KP thinks that four out of five dentists would agree that Alexander Ovechkin and the Washington Capitals are choking yet again (AP Photo/John Bazemore)

Frank McCourt

frank-mccourt-dodgers

Frank McCourt thinks Bud Selig is un-American. What do you think?

The troubled owner of the Los Angeles Dodgers remains a target in this edition.  Recently, McCourt referred to Bud Selig as “un-American”.  Let’s think about this for a second, shall we?  McCourt has racked up millions of dollars in debt, he can’t afford the team’s payroll and he’s asked to borrow money from various outlets, including a $30 million loan from Fox.  That sounds familiar to millions of Americans out there – so maybe McCourt is right, after all.

Ryan Mallett

Like the aforementioned McCourt, Ryan Mallett is a repeat offender.  By now, everyone knows that Mallett was selected by the New England Patriots in the third round of the 2011 NFL Draft.  His draft free fall was likely due to numerous, rumored off-the-field concerns – and recently, it was reported that Mallett was almost an hour late to a pre-draft meeting with the Tennessee Titans.  With the stories continuing to emerge post-draft, I have a hard time believing this is a smear campaign, and if Mallett wants to succeed in the NFL, he’ll need to get his act together, especially playing under Bill Belichick.

Derek Lowe

Atlanta Braves SP Derek Lowe is the latest in a long line of athletes to get busted with a DUI.  Seriously, would it kill these MILLIONAIRE sports stars to just suck it up and pay for a cab?

Shin-Soo Choo

Busted! (See Derek Lowe)

Maybe Choo and Lowe saw Seinfeld’s bit on cab drivers…

 

Odd Critique of Andy Dalton

Get this: Andy Dalton, former TCU QB and now second round pick by the Cincinnati Bengals, was actually catching criticism for having red hair.  Give me a break, like hair color really affects a player’s performance.

Hmm, maybe more people saw Mike McQueary play than I would have originally thought (only true football fans or Penn Staters will understand that zing).

Greg Popovich and the San Antonio Spurs

Spurs head coach Greg Popovich said that injuries slowed the team.  No, age did.  The Spurs are old, and it’s clear that after being outplayed by a young and quick Memphis team, San Antonio should make significant changes in the offseason.  Inject some youth into the franchise.

Overstock.com Coliseum

The home of the Raiders and A’s is being renamed to the Overstock.com Coliseum.  We won’t see an overstocking of wins on the football field.  The jokes just write themselves, don’t they?

Mark Ingram’s New Statue

To add to his growing trophy case, Mark Ingram has a new statue that was dedicated to him – a statue of…chicken salad?  One word: Ridiculous.  On second thought, anybody got any bread?

THIS WEEK’S BEEFSTEAK TRIOsplatteredtomato

 

Albert Haynesworth

Add a misdemeanor sexual abuse charge to Haynesworth’s resume – and a lifetime membership to the Throwing Tomatoes Target Practice Club, too.

Janoris Jenkins

For those counting, that’s three arrests for Jenkins.  All that talent, wasted – but it was the right move for new Gators head coach Will Muschamp to cut ties with him.  Would Urban Meyer have done the same?  All signs point to: NO.

Roger McDowell

Usually, when the individual apologizes, I let the tomato slide.  But McDowell – and his rants, slurs and gestures – were simply too hard to ignore this time.  Punishment well deserved…

NEW! The “YOU DECIDE” Tomato Concept

Let’s pretend this guy is propped up on a dunk tank filled with tomatoes.  It’s your call:

TIKI BARBER – Regarding his NFL comeback: “It has nothing to do about the money

Do you believe him?  If yes, then he escapes.  If not, TOMATO.  I don’t know about you, but my vote is juicy and hanging from a vine.

Does Tiki Barber Deserve A Tomato This Week (Read Tomatoes Post)?

  • Heck YES, what are you waiting for? (86%, 6 Votes)
  • NO way, I believe him (14%, 1 Votes)
  • YES, but toss them gently (0%, 0 Votes)

Total Voters: 7

Loading ... Loading ...

 

And finally…

…a quick-strike of red to the following teams…

 

Chicago White Sox Worst record in the American League (11-20)

Texas Rangers7-13 since a red-hot 9-1 start to the season

San Francisco Giants Offense is struggling, defending champs now below .500

San Diego Padres – A .217 team batting average is just brutal

Minnesota Twins – It’s May 4th and the Twins have just 13 HR as a teamthrowingtomatoesbanner

Chicago Cubs – The Cubs’ pitching staff has walked 119 batters – most in the majors

 

This has been Throwing Tomatoes, where the stupid pills are overstocked.

Throwing Tomatoes is a feature that Kevin Paul started five years ago when blogging in the Fox Sports community.  It has been featured numerous times, including on the Fox Sports home page on several occasions.

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By | 2017-08-25T17:33:54+00:00 May 4th, 2011|Features, Humor, Kevin Paul, Throwing Tomatoes, Writers|14 Comments

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14 Comments

  1. admin May 9, 2011 at 10:20 PM

    J-DUB–

    Yeah, I had put a screenshot of that humping situation on my site… I remember when that happened in the AFC Championship and I had to question it to others on Twitter… saying… wait, did he just do what I think he did??

    Nice image… ha ha…. I think I’m glad to be Mo…

    You may need to give me some pointers on how to get better with Photoshop, unless I’m using the wrong version of the program. I have so many ideas to put in image form… and haven’t been able to for that reason.

  2. JW May 9, 2011 at 10:59 AM

    I’m kinda glad we didn’t get into the Rashard thing…then one of us would have brought his dry-humping of Roethlisberger after the AFC championship game, then the Christopher Cross stuff takes on a whole new meaning – not that there’s anything wrong with that…

    Funny you make a “train reference” to guy who makes model railroad stuff for a living…

    But more importantly, here’s the graphic I’m using on Dubsism to promo the podcast…

    http://dubsism.wordpress.com/2011/05/08/dubsism-enters-the-podcast-world/

  3. admin May 9, 2011 at 10:42 AM

    REV–

    Yeah, we never got into Rashard yesterday… though that story was a few days old and pretty much over and done with, so I get it – though I’m sure the three of us would have had some unique opinions.

    Yeah, Sunday was fun as always… look forward to the next show, and hopefully we can keep the train moving in the right direction. Later – KP

  4. admin May 9, 2011 at 10:41 AM

    AERO-

    I’m curious to see how much staying power this bullpen has throughout the course of the season. One thing’s for sure, the strength of the rotation should be able to help keep the ‘pen fresh into the summer.

    KP

  5. Chris Humpherys May 6, 2011 at 10:27 AM

    Rashard…

    We only heard one side and that’s all we’re gonna hear ’cause Osama’s ain’t talkin’ no more.

    Looking forward to Sunday.

    We’ll see if we can’t get J-Dub to call in.

  6. aero May 5, 2011 at 7:48 AM

    I’m really looking forward to the return of J.P. Howell. I hope he’s healthy, because if he is he can be a big help to their bullpen.

  7. admin May 4, 2011 at 6:01 PM

    J-DUB,

    Thanks, I can pass along my email through twitter. We welcome feedback for the dry run, and obviously have some additional plans going forward, too. Structure is one thing we are looking at and had some thoughts… just tough to get time to chat with him about it, since he works nights and I work days.

    Sadly, I actually knew about the song “Sailing” before DP put it on the show, but still, that segment was pretty funny. I have a family member that owns a Christopher Cross CD.

  8. JW May 4, 2011 at 4:29 PM

    Clearly a “jawface” moment. And I also knew that once you admitted being a DP listener, I was going to hear a “Sailing” reference. Perhaps you could work that into the next Kev and Rev Show.

    Speaking of which…I sent Rev some thought based on your dry run. don’t have a email for yopu, or I would have copied you.

  9. admin May 4, 2011 at 4:22 PM

    J-DUB,

    Oh, so Dan was going “jawface”? I’m guessing if you’re a regular watcher/listener, you may know what I’m talking about there. Man, I may have to skip ahead to hear that interview. I just listened to Ryan Leaf earlier today… definitely a few days behind.

    No doubt on Mallett, what a landing spot to wind up with New England, have Tom Brady to watch, and a golden clipboard to hold on to while the team is in the playoffs.

  10. JW May 4, 2011 at 4:10 PM

    I was watching the TV broadcast of the DP show and it was easy to tell that Patrick was getting rather pissed off at the torrent of complete bullshit coming from McCourt…and it was that smarmy, condescending type of shit, too…

    As for Mallett…here’s the golden opportunity, kid. You survived all the scrutiny and managed to land in a pretty sweet spot. Fuck it up and it’s all on you, kid.

  11. admin May 4, 2011 at 4:04 PM

    J-DUB,

    Man, I can’t wait to hear that interview… I listen to the DP Show regularly, but via podcast – and I’m behind a few days. I likely won’t get to that one ’til tomorrow or so, but I’ll keep an eye out for it.

    I even baited you with Mallett again, and nothing? Thoughts on him going in the 3rd round to the Patriots?

  12. admin May 4, 2011 at 4:02 PM

    AERO–

    Zing! Well played, sir – and wow, a John Rocker reference… talk about a blast from the past right there. You’re on your game today.

    Hey, how about those Rays? Still playing good ball… you must be pleased.

  13. JW May 4, 2011 at 3:16 PM

    I’m sticking with McCourt. I heard him on the Dan Patrick Show this morning, and this guy has his head so far up his own ass he needs a glass belly-button to see where he is going. He does not have the cash on hand to make payroll this month, and yet the guy insists that absolutely nothing is wrong with the Dodgers.

  14. aero May 4, 2011 at 1:57 PM

    I guess that would make Urban the perfect fit for Ohio State.
    There must be something in the water in Atlanta that turns some guys into idiots. First Rocker and now this tool.
    Fire when ready!

Comments are closed.