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College Football: Nick Saban, Lloyd Carr, Bobby Petrino and the Coaches Teams Wish They Had Back

The grass is always greener on the other side, right?

Sure it is – and Les Miles is ALWAYS on time.

Perhaps that question should be directed to the fans, supporters and teams of college football – in particular those who enjoyed sunny days in the recent past – followed by a whole heck of a lot of gloomy days heading into the present.

We’re talkin’ raining cats and dogs – and not ‘Dawgs.

So upon diving into this topic for a second, if there were coaches that many wish they had back and running particular college football programs, who would they be?sexy7

Here are some coaches that come to mind – in the latest Sexy Seven (plus a BONUS one this week):

College Football: Coaches That Teams Wish They Had Back

Bobby Petrino (at Louisville)

Bobby Petrino was 41-9 as head coach at “The Ville”, including four bowl game appearances and an 11-3 record as a member of the Big East conference.

In a matter of months, the Cardinals went from a breeding ground for NFL quarterbacks to a festival of football follies.

Therefore, it would come as no surprise to hear that no one wants a coach back more than Louisville wants Petrino – though there may be some intrigue and excitement with brand spankin’ new hire (and former Gators DC) Charlie Strong.

Lloyd Carr (at Michigan)

 

This season, Michigan football celebrates its official return to being the owner of the largest capacity crowd in the college game.

SPORTS ILLUSTRATED SWIMSUIT COVER MODEL

(Photo Credit: Walter Iooss Jr./Sports Illustrated)

Translation: 2010 seems destined to be “The Big House featuring Little Football.”

In a few seasons, the Wolverines have transformed from a model of consistency (under Lloyd Carr) to a model of conspiracy under Rich Rodriguez – ranging from players transferring, to rules being broken, to self-imposed sanctions and so on.

Lloyd Carr may not have been perfect in the eyes of the maize and blue, but his career record of 122-40 is looking like Brooklyn Decker in a bikini compared to Rich Rod’s Rosie O’Donnell-like career at Michigan.

Phil Fulmer (at Tennessee)

 

Many will be quick to criticize, saying that Phil Fulmer’s recruiting efforts were fading, and the team was sinking further and further towards football mediocrity.

Two words to counter that argument: Lane Kiffin.

Say what you want about Fulmer, he still made 15 bowl games in 17 seasons and he won a “Natty” in 1998 for UT – when Kiffin couldn’t even manage to cheer up a “Natty Ice” with any of the Vols faithful.

Instead, Lane simply left the entire state of Tennessee with “bitter beer face.”

Terry Donahue (at UCLA)

 

Under Donahue’s watch, the Bruins won 151 games, including five conference titles and seven straight bowl victories from 1982-1987.

 

After his departure, UCLA’s new coach was Bob Toledo – and while there were back-to-back seasons of brilliance in 1997 and 1998 – the rest of his tenure was, well… Toledo-esque.

Karl Dorrell’s stretch was nothing to write home to Mom about and current headman Rick Neuheisel’s run is still in its infant stages.

 

Holy Toledo – where for art thou, Terry?

Nick Saban (at LSU)

LSU certainly hasn’t been a doormat under Les Miles, but many could easily question his far-from-elite regime.  After all, the national title was won with Saban’s recruits.

Worse, Miles hasn’t been able to tell time to save his life.  Not only have there been the late game blunders with clock management, Miles was even late to his press conference during the 2010 SEC Media Days.

Someone needs to giftwrap a replica of Flava Flav’s clock, so that Les can wear it during the upcoming football season.

Maybe then he’ll get a better idea of the time – and before his own time is up.

les-miles-flava-flav-les-needs-his-clock

TWHS thinks Les Miles needs a replica of Flava Flav’s clock to assist with his clock management

 

R.C. Slocum (at Texas A&M)

The majority of critics would be quick to point out that Slocum’s bowl record (3-8) was reminiscent of something to be flushed down a different type of bowl – but looking back on his ability to maintain a clean program, while also showing compassion in comforting his players through tragic events such as the bonfire disasater, Slocum’s record would be welcomed back with open arms.

11 bowl games and a record of 123-47-2 over 14 seasons, that’s leaps and bounds over the Aggies’ performances over the last decade.

The 12th man would simply love to have more than a dozen reasons to party on New Year’s Day again.

 

June Jones (at Hawai’i)

 

The Warriors went from aerial attack to verbal attack – as June Jones (75-41 as coach) developed lethal offenses featuring quarterbacks like Timmy Chang and Colt Brennan, whilepig-roast Greg McMackin only has launched a handful of derogatory comments and slurs.

What bigger collapse could anyone deliver in college sports – losing a former NFL coach and replacing him with a guy that many likely would still rather see roasted with an apple in his mouth.

 

Paul Pasqualoni (at Syracuse)

 

Syracuse is like the Apple of college football – cruising along, steady as a rock and then… BOOM… iPhone 4.

There was a bevy of success under Pasqualoni (who amassed 107 victories), and also Dick MacPherson before him.

The actual real beginning of the orange crush was 2005, when the ‘Cuse mustered just one victory in Greg Robinson’s first season as head coach.

Over four seasons, Robinson couldn’t even crack a dozen wins – and instead was left with egg on his face.  And while the Orange have been more competitive under Doug Marrone, a bowl game still feels like miles away – and saying that is very realistic – and not walking on eggshells.

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By | 2017-08-25T17:34:38+00:00 July 28th, 2010|Features, Humor, Kevin Paul, NCAA FB, Sexy Seven, Writers|5 Comments

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5 Comments

  1. admin August 2, 2010 at 11:51 AM

    REV–
    Yeah, I thought about Osborne and almost included him – but Pelini has done a solid enough job and seems to have the Huskers back on track, so I decided to leave him off for now… I think overall the fans are happy with him.

    AERO–
    As always, thanks for playing along…
    Rich Rod has to have hottest seat in college football this year… and it’s not even close.
    As for Petrino, yeah… Atlanta is a different story, but you know Louisville misses him big time – though it will be interesting if Strong can get that program back on track.

  2. admin August 2, 2010 at 11:41 AM

    Amy—
    Yeah, I’m sure you aren’t alone there… though obviously, he won’t be back and has retired, too right? Still, no one in my mind is on a hotter seat than Rich Rod, so it’s going to be interesting to see how he and the Wolverines respond to that pressure. I can say this: they have an immediate challenge with Edsall’s UConn team… they play hard.

    Also very excited for the season… can’t wait. A month to go!

  3. aero July 29, 2010 at 9:35 AM

    Rodriguez was a big mistake by Michigan. From what I saw Coach Carr was a class act.
    I know the people in Atlanta would like Petrino back. So they could tar and feather him before they ran him back out of town on a rail.
    Lane Kiffin is a whore, Saban is a pimp, and Hawaii was a fluke.
    Thanks for letting me play along.

  4. Chris Humpherys July 29, 2010 at 7:01 AM

    I definitely agree with you on Fulmer, man.

    And I’d probably add Tom Osborne and Nebraska to your list.

    Heck, for that matter, how about Notre Dame and Knute Rockne.

    Now excuse me while I go win one for the gipper.

  5. Amy July 28, 2010 at 10:05 PM

    I would love to see Carr back at Michigan. As a Wolverines fan, I’m not happy with the job Rich Rod has done so far. We have to get to a bowl game this season, if not I say it’s time to show Rich Rod the door. Fans may not have been happy with Carr towards the end, but I bet they would welcome him back anytime.

    Nice clock management by Les Miles. How do you manage to be late to your own press conference? Ever heard of a watch Les? Clock management is one of the most important things in football, hopefully for LSU’s sake, he’s been working on it.

    Thanks for this post, I can’t wait til the season starts! Looking forward to another year.

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