This year, I decided that I wanted to throw the greatest Super Bowl party ever. In order to get the ball rolling, I had to dust off my little black book, which happens to contain contact information for a number of various celebrities in the entertainment business and sports world.
Sad to say – after all my efforts – I struck out across the board. Either way, I felt it would be worth sharing the responses that I received from everyone… and here they are…
Celebrity Excuses for NOT Attending My Super Bowl Party (2010 Edition)
Lane Kiffin – Someone told me that he was committed to being here, but likely would show up for a little while, and then take off early.
Gilbert Arenas – I never got an RSVP back from him – guess he couldn’t pull the trigger, or maybe his schedule was loaded.
Braylon Edwards – I heard he dropped the invitation somewhere between the mailbox and front door. Usually, I wouldn’t buy this excuse, but in this case, it makes sense.
Adrian Peterson – See Braylon Edwards.
Conan O’Brien – He was all about coming, but would’ve been a half hour late… and he hates to start parties on delay.
Mark Sanchez – He said he’d only consider coming if we were serving hot dogs. I asked if “pigs in a blanket” were OK, but I haven’t heard back. Who knows, maybe he’ll still show.
Tim Lincecum – He declined once he heard I wouldn’t be serving “magic brownies”.
Mark McGwire – Even if he opened up last minute and informed me that he was going to show, I don’t think I would believe him.
Mike Leach – I actually never invited him – too afraid that maybe he’d lock me up in my bathroom if he didn’t approve of my guacamole.
Jim Leavitt – I didn’t push him after his first decline – fear for my own safety, you know.
Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino – Nevermind… the conversation went downhill after I told him that all he needed to bring was a six-pack.
Brett Favre – He said it was “highly unlikely” that he’ll show up. Don’t worry… I have him included in my total head count.
Tim Donaghy – He didn’t want to gamble with making the trip, and risk not arriving to my place on time. That came as quite a shock actually.
Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse – They did respond, but I’m so confused, I have no idea if they’re coming or not.
Heidi Montag – Even if she did show up, I’m fairly certain that I wouldn’t recognize her.
Rex Ryan – The dude flipped me the bird. A simple no would have worked. I guess it could have been worse. He could have said he was taking a trip to “Revis Island” instead. Oh well…
It appears as if I will not be having any famous people over to my pad. On the bright side, at least I can eat my guacamole in peace – and on my couch, too.
Enjoy Super Bowl XLIV, friends!
Disclaimer: In all honesty, I know zero celebrities – and don’t even own a little black book.