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Celebrity Excuses for Not Attending My Super Bowl Party

This year, I decided that I wanted to throw the greatest Super Bowl party ever.  In order to get the ball rolling, I had to dust off my little black book, which happens to contain contact information for a number of various celebrities in the entertainment business and sports world.

Sad to say – after all my efforts – I struck out across the board.  Either way, I felt it would be worth sharing the responses that I received from everyone… and here they are…

Celebrity Excuses for NOT Attending My Super Bowl Party (2010 Edition)

Lane Kiffin – Someone told me that he was committed to being here, but likely would show up for a little while, and then take off early.

Gilbert Arenas – I never got an RSVP back from him – guess he couldn’t pull the trigger, or maybe his schedule was loaded.

Braylon Edwards – I heard he dropped the invitation somewhere between the mailbox and front door.  Usually, I wouldn’t buy this excuse, but in this case, it makes sense.

Adrian Peterson – See Braylon Edwards.

Conan O’Brien – He was all about coming, but would’ve been a half hour late… and he hates to start parties on delay.

Mark Sanchez – He said he’d only consider coming if we were serving hot dogs.  I asked if “pigs in a blanket” were OK, but I haven’t heard back.  Who knows, maybe he’ll still show.

Tim Lincecum – He declined once he heard I wouldn’t be serving “magic brownies”.

Mark McGwire – Even if he opened up last minute and informed me that he was going to show, I don’t think I would believe him.

Mike Leach – I actually never invited him – too afraid that maybe he’d lock me up in my bathroom if he didn’t approve of my guacamole.

Jim Leavitt – I didn’t push him after his first decline – fear for my own safety, you know.

Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino – Nevermind… the conversation went downhill after I told him that all he needed to bring was a six-pack.

Brett Favre – He said it was “highly unlikely” that he’ll show up.  Don’t worry… I have him included in my total head count.

Tim Donaghy – He didn’t want to gamble with making the trip, and risk not arriving to my place on time.  That came as quite a shock actually.

Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse – They did respond, but I’m so confused, I have no idea if they’re coming or not.

Heidi Montag – Even if she did show up, I’m fairly certain that I wouldn’t recognize her.

And finally…

Rex Ryan – The dude flipped me the bird.  A simple no would have worked.  I guess it could have been worse.  He could have said he was taking a trip to “Revis Island” instead.  Oh well…

It appears as if I will not be having any famous people over to my pad.  On the bright side, at least I can eat my guacamole in peace – and on my couch, too.

Enjoy Super Bowl XLIV, friends!

Disclaimer: In all honesty, I know zero celebrities – and don’t even own a little black book.

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By | 2017-08-25T17:35:22+00:00 February 3rd, 2010|Celebs, Humor, Kevin Paul, NFL, Television|15 Comments

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15 Comments

  1. Tommye Ruelle May 10, 2010 at 3:20 AM

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  2. tophatal February 10, 2010 at 4:24 PM

    KP

    Tiger’ll will come back when he’s good and ready. People seem to forget he’s also trying to mend his marriage or what semblance of relationship he still has left with his wife and immediate family.

    Alan Parkins

  3. admin February 10, 2010 at 4:01 PM

    That’s an interesting take TOP, that the Tour will in a sense try to nudge Tiger and get him to come back sooner. I still don’t see that – and I don’t think it will even be necessary… I still see him coming before the Masters, but then again, I also don’t have any knowledge on that – just my gut feeling stemming off of every time I’ve heard him speak about winning, playing golf and all that…

  4. tophatal February 6, 2010 at 12:16 AM

    KP

    Tiger will be back on The Tour but it’ll be of his own making and not from him being pressed into making an immediate return at the behest of the players of Tour commissioner Tim Finchem. The whole PGA Tour is hurting at present as too are the ancillary services that make a living working in conjunction with the PGA Tour.

    Alan Parkins

  5. K Wibbles February 5, 2010 at 7:55 PM

    Who is this Mikey of which you speak

    K Wibbles Lives forever

    The second K Wibb saw that that douchebag named his own abs he shut it off.

  6. admin February 5, 2010 at 6:26 PM

    TOP–
    He’ll manage… no doubt. I do think he’ll be back… anyone that thinks that he won’t be back for all four majors is crazy in my mind.

  7. tophatal February 4, 2010 at 4:13 PM

    KSP

    I’m not sure that Tiger’ll be around that long. Some of those skanks he did allegedly had boyfriends. So there’s no telling if some psycho won’t come gunning for him. I hear Oprah though wants to have both he and Elin on her show ? Now that should make for real entertaining tv. LOL,LOL,LOL !!!!

    Alan Parkins

  8. admin February 4, 2010 at 12:46 PM

    MARNIE–
    Ha ha, true – he probably would! Hey, so glad you stopped by… hope to seee you on here more in the future!!

    BILL–
    Ha ha – nice. I bet Jessica Simpson was jealous… nah, probably not. What QB or celeb is she dating now? I can’t keep track anymore

    KP

  9. admin February 4, 2010 at 12:44 PM

    K WIBBLES–

    aka Mikey, right?
    To be totally honest, I had to look up his last name… at first when I wrote it, I just had “The Situation”, which probably would have been enough but I added his name too…thought maybe it may help with search engines… who knows.

    KP

  10. admin February 4, 2010 at 12:43 PM

    JOSH Q —
    Thanks you my friend! Look forward to collaberating in some way… let’s touch base soon and see what we can come up with regarding cross promotion. Good hearing from you and stop by anytime and comment… I expect some “pro Sox” to come my way on here from you.

    TOP–
    Oh, Tiger… what’s a man to do? I still say he’s back in time for the Masters – easy. Winning is near the top of his list – especially that Majors record. I’ll take a look at what you have to say on Peyton… later

    KP

  11. Bill February 3, 2010 at 9:26 PM

    Tony Romo was to busy sun bathing with Jason Whitten in the Bahamas

  12. Marnie February 3, 2010 at 8:21 PM

    Very funny.

    Plus, Mike Leach might have sued you if he didn’t have a good time.

  13. K Wibbles February 3, 2010 at 7:42 PM

    The fact you actually know the last name of “The Situation’s” last name is scary

  14. tophatal February 3, 2010 at 4:22 PM

    Heidi Montag and that _ick of a husband of hers ought to be still on that island alongside that skank Janice Dickinson !

    Tiger’s excuse ………. My 9 iron was wedged in between her labia . That’s why I couldn’t make it. Sorry !

    Alan Parkins

  15. josh q public February 3, 2010 at 12:59 PM

    Awesome site. I invited riggo when i complained that he couldn’t come, he said lighten up Sandy.

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